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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People nowadays are not as fit and active as they were in the past. What are the reasons for this? What measures can be taken for this?

#people #measures
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In the
last
Linking Words
 decades,
people
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 have gradually become more sedentary, at the same time, obesity affects an important percentage of the population. In the following short essay, the reasons for
this
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 and some possible solutions will be addressed.
To begin
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, sedentarism and overweight issues are narrowly connected. In the
last
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 half of the 20th
century
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,century
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 the global economy switched from hard labour to services and information
techologies
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technologies
. Having said that, nowadays, more and more
people
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 work behind a desk without having to do any kind of physical activity.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the fast-
food
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 industry has increased dramatically and has changed the eating patterns
especially
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,especially
show examples
 in the western world.
For example
Linking Words
, one century ago, an average worker stayed for more than eight hours a day
in
Change preposition
on
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 a farm and used to eat fresh
food
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,
in contrast
Linking Words
, currently, the same person gests sitted eight hours in an office and
has
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have
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 breakfast and
luch
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lunch
 in a restaurant full of ultra-processed
food
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. Since obesity has turned into a public health problem, one feasible solution might come from local
goverments
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governments
government
, they should increase
campaings
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campaigns
campaign
 of awareness against the low-activity way of life and all its risks. Politicians can take direct actions against the
availabilty
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availability
 of fast
food
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 by increasing the taxes to those companies. Maybe, if more data related to the negative consequences of poor eating
choises
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choices
 mixed with low activity habits were exposed in public media,
people
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 would be more careful of their daily life.
For instance
Linking Words
, parents will
double check
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double-check
show examples
 if
a
Remove the article
apply
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soda is a suitable
bevarage
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beverage
 for their children if they knew that sugar is highly related to
diabethes
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diabetes
 and
kindney
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kidney
 issues. To conclude, the main reason for
people
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 being less fit and active than older generations
,
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apply
show examples
may be
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maybe
show examples
 the dangerous combination of low-quality
food
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 and sedentarism. In order to mitigate
this
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 issue,
goverments
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governments
government
 can publish campaigns to reduce the
comsumption
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consumption
 of bad
food
Use synonyms
 and improve the habits of their population.
Submitted by camiloko1989 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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