Celebrities make a very good living out of media attention and have chosen to live in the public spot light. They have no right to complain when they feel the media are intruding on their privacy. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion.

#celebrities #media #attention #spot #light #right #privacy

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The person who is famous in any sector leads a superb life without any public calling concern and they have a desire to face in front of the people.

However

, press conference sometimes interferes with their personal issues and famous man cannot make allegations against them. From my perspective,

this

proposition is not completely true. It seems undeniable that everybody wants to be a star and as a consequence, they work hard for achieving name and fame. Person wishes that he could be a superstar in his soul and every human wants to be a fan of him.

Thus

, being ambitious in his life he can be a popular somebody in various events. As they are the man they have a personal heart and if it is exposed publicly their works might be hampered.

On the contrary

, some individuals consider mark their personal errors in growth can lead

Change preposition

to a

show examples

perfect activity.

For instance

, a film star can achieve his name through hard work.

Conversely

, it should be controlled in their personal heart

therefore

Add the comma(s)

,therefore

show examples

, personal issues them should be spotted.

Moreover

, popular man or woman must have talent though they work hard. Being a familiar person in a province one must be an all-rounder in his tasks. Being a response to everyone he could be a famous one to everyone. In other ,words if they are not liable to answer publicly

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their own tasks it could destroy their morale to people.

For example

, football or cricket star can give pleasure to the audience.

However

, if they are not good at their personal activity, they would be fallen into gambling. In conclusion, all people want to be

Change the article

apply

show examples

famous and it is a good ambition.

Nevertheless

, personal life should be restricted so that they would not be corrupted in any evil things.

Submitted by Sadiq on Mon Jun 21 2021

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

301 words

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