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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible, while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age.Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Education
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in nurturing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school-aged
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
However
Linking Words
, there is
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 ongoing debate on the issue that
children
Use synonyms
 should get enrolled in schools before 7 years of age, whereas some parts of society opine that they should get involved in extra-curricular activities other than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic work. Both
perspective
Change to a plural noun
perspectives
show examples
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 their own weight. So a critical evaluation is required before reaching a logical conclusion. On one hand , parents think that
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 better for their
children
Use synonyms
 to get
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 as early as possible.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
 is essential in developing
minds
Correct article usage
the minds
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 of
children
Use synonyms
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic knowledge teaches about subjects
such
Linking Words
 as science, mathematics and social science. Another reason is it makes them independent ,competitive and motivated which will
benefits
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
 them in future. They get to know the importance of time
such
Linking Words
 as completing homework and follow a proper schedule. In
korea
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Korea
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,
for example
Linking Words
,
childrean
Correct your spelling
children
 are taught about mathematics
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
beginning
Add an article
the beginning
show examples
 of their schooling career.
As a result
Linking Words
, in
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 they have a great command
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the subject. On other hand, there are
plethora
Add an article
a plethora
show examples
 of important things that younger
one's
Change the noun form
ones
one
show examples
 should know about
such
Linking Words
 as singing, dancing and indulging in sports. It is incorrect to over-burden them with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic work. More than teaching them how to compete
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 important to teach them how to live life.
In addition
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, they should be taught about discipline and
also
Linking Words
 focusing on the
out-door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
 games.
For instance
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, japan starts their formal
education
Use synonyms
 after
fourth
Change the article
the fourth
show examples
 standard and they
focuses
Change the verb form
focus
show examples
 more on the development of
children
Use synonyms
's behaviour
such
Linking Words
 as making them
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
disciplined citizens. These have shown
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
great results and benefitted the younger one's. To summarise, the two sides of argument
concering
Correct your spelling
concerning
 about when its right time for
children
Use synonyms
 to take academic
education
Use synonyms
. Despite
this
Linking Words
, after
Correct article usage
a through
show examples
through
Correct your spelling
thorough
show examples
Correct your spelling
analysis
anlaysis
Correct article usage
an anlaysis
show examples
 of both sides, it is clear that the idea of teaching students after seven years of age can be supported. It teaches them more about life and to enjoy every moment.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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