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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that formal education should start for children as early as possible, while others think that it should not start until 7 years of age.Discuss both views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

#people #education #children #years #age
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Education
Use synonyms
 plays a vital role in nurturing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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school-aged
childern
Correct your spelling
children
.
However
Linking Words
, there is
a
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an
show examples
 ongoing debate on the issue that
children
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 should get enrolled in schools before 7 years of age, whereas some parts of society opine that they should get involved in extra-curricular activities other than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
academic work. Both
perspective
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perspectives
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have
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has
show examples
 their own weight. So a critical evaluation is required before reaching a logical conclusion. On one hand , parents think that
its
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it's
it is
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 better for their
children
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 to get
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
an education
show examples
 as early as possible.
Firstly
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,
education
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 is essential in developing
minds
Correct article usage
the minds
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 of
children
Use synonyms
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic knowledge teaches about subjects
such
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 as science, mathematics and social science. Another reason is it makes them independent ,competitive and motivated which will
benefits
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benefit
show examples
 them in future. They get to know the importance of time
such
Linking Words
 as completing homework and follow a proper schedule. In
korea
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Korea
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,
for example
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,
childrean
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children
 are taught about mathematics
in
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at
show examples
beginning
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the beginning
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 of their schooling career.
As a result
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, in
future
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,future
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 they have a great command
on
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of
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 the subject. On other hand, there are
plethora
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a plethora
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 of important things that younger
one's
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ones
one
show examples
 should know about
such
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 as singing, dancing and indulging in sports. It is incorrect to over-burden them with
the
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apply
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academic work. More than teaching them how to compete
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 important to teach them how to live life.
In addition
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, they should be taught about discipline and
also
Linking Words
 focusing on the
out-door
Correct your spelling
outdoor
show examples
 games.
For instance
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, japan starts their formal
education
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 after
fourth
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the fourth
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 standard and they
focuses
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focus
show examples
 more on the development of
children
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's behaviour
such
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 as making them
a
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apply
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disciplined citizens. These have shown
a
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apply
show examples
great results and benefitted the younger one's. To summarise, the two sides of argument
concering
Correct your spelling
concerning
 about when its right time for
children
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 to take academic
education
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. Despite
this
Linking Words
, after
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a through
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through
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thorough
show examples
Correct your spelling
analysis
anlaysis
Correct article usage
an anlaysis
show examples
 of both sides, it is clear that the idea of teaching students after seven years of age can be supported. It teaches them more about life and to enjoy every moment.
Submitted by Yash on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive development
  • Social interactions
  • Formative years
  • Curiosity
  • Structured environments
  • Preschool activities
  • Unstructured play
  • Developmental pace
  • Emotional and social skills
  • Undue stress and pressure
  • Natural development
  • Informal learning methods
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