IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Caring for children is probably the most important job in any society. Because of this, all mothers and fathers should be required to take a course that prepares them to be good parents. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#children #job #society #mothers #fathers #course #parents
For any society to succeed,
child rearing
Add a hyphen
child-rearing
show examples
 is of utmost importance. It is no wonder that governments put so much effort into devising ways to facilitate
this
 process. It is debated that among these, holding curriculums to prepare future parents for raising their
children
 is a must. I mostly agree with
this
 notion, but I
also
 understand why some people might think
otherwise
. The thing is, parenting is hard and instructing couple how to do it is not going to make it any easier. The majority of the time people confess to having suffered from bad parenting during their pubescent years, it turns out that their family was experiencing some other crisis as well.
For example
, during times of war or economical turmoil, parents have less chance to attend to their
children
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
such
 occasions, couples try their best to keep their
children
 healthy physically which is no easy task, but they might barely be able to take care of their
children
 mentally. That said, there are ways by applying which parents can tremendously improve their parenting skills. With that in mind, we should never hesitate to offer opportunities through which families can introduce future entrepreneurs and philanthropists to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
This
in turn
Add the comma(s)
, in turn,
show examples
 can boost
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society forward in
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of ways and the benefits can be witnessed throughout the years.
In addition
, many people need to learn to view being a father or a mother as an ongoing process, and they should spend every waking hour of their
children
’s lives, trying to strive for the best. These courses can be a place to start letting them know of
this
 fact. In conclusion, while obligatory courses may seem like a futile effort, I believe unprecedented results are to follow if applied properly.
Submitted by pejhan.red on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: