IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

Nowadays, more and more people decide to have children later in their life. What are the reasons? What are the effects of this on society and families?

#people #children #life #effects #society #families
Most
couples
 these days would rather not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have
children
 until they are older.
This
 can be because of several different reasons.
This
 decision has its impact on societies, which we will look into in
this
 essay. Cultural and economical restraints play a huge role. In the
last
 couple of decades, the number of women attending full-time jobs has risen rapidly, while stay-at-home men are still frowned upon by some. In
this
 cultural dilemma, neither the wife nor the husband can look after their
children
 and raise them responsibly.
On the other hand
,
couples
 generally believe that they must enjoy a certain level of family income in order to afford
feeding
Change the verb form
to feed
show examples
 an extra mouth. These might persuade
couples
 into thinking of having
children
 when one of them is present at home and they are financially more stable. Late childbearing can lead to some notable gaps between parents and their offspring and
also
 an
aging
Change the spelling
ageing
show examples
 population. As
couples
 decide to have
children
 later in their life, a noticeable age gap begins to appear,
as a result
 of that, communication between
children
 and their parents might suffer some damages. Being from different generations, it is only natural to have opposing views on many subjects.
Furthermore
, it disturbs the balance among
variety
Add an article
a variety
show examples
 of age groups, which could contribute to
scarcity
Add an article
the scarcity
a scarcity
show examples
 of workforce, and problems recompensating the growing number of retired employees. Late childbearing is a growing trend and it has
some
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
certain outcomes in the near future, societies must be aware of there and take action if necessary.
Submitted by pejhan.red on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: