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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

'We have an expression: food is not love'. Obesity these days is very common in our society. Some people believe our overeating habit and less physical exercise have left obese people to suffer from various illnesses. Discuss the solutions to remain fit.

#expression #food #love #obesity #society #people #habit #exercise #illnesses
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Obesity is a complex disease involving an
excess
Replace the word
excessive
show examples
 amount of body fat. It is a medical problem that increases the risk of other diseases like- blood pressure, sugar, heart problems, and cancer. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I would like to enlighten my views on the given subject. Excessive consumption of junk foods is the number cause
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 obesity. In the past, people did not have much variety of foods. They rely more on homemade food but today there are numerous options like
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Pizza, Burger, Pasta and a number of more. People love the utilization of these meals knowingly the fact
that is
Linking Words
 compounded by a higher level of fats and sugar which makes them obese. Lack of exercises is another reason for weight gain. Most of us have jobs
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 allow us to spend most of the time sitting on chairs. There are several solutions to prevent obesity. What is vital to achieving
this
Linking Words
 target is self-discipline towards eating patterns and resolution to form a diet and fitness regime every day by consuming organic foods.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
, making physical activity an important part of
routine
Add an article
the routine
a routine
show examples
 is essential. When we exercise, we do not only burn the extra calories but
also
Linking Words
 reduce the risk of illness. To conclude, it is true that
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 number of obese people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 rising day by day to
this
Linking Words
 problem can be tackled by making appropriate exercises and healthy balanced diet.
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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