IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some Governments say how many children a family can have in their country should be strictly controlled. They may control the number of children someone has through taxes. Is It sometimes necessary and right for a government to control the population in this way? Do you agree or disagree with this policy? Give reasons for your answer.

#governments #children #country #control #someone #taxes #right #government #population #policy
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Population among
children
Use synonyms
 has been increasing
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 three decades. Some authorities across the globe believe that there should be
Use synonyms
law
Add an article
a law
the law
show examples
 on the rise of
Use synonyms
number
Change the article
a number
the number
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
 which should be controlled by imposing taxes. I totally disagree with
this
Linking Words
 kind of scheme. To embark with, there are other measures
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 curb the
number
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 as compared to taxation policy.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
instaed
Correct your spelling
instead
 of putting
sustainable
Add an article
the sustainable
a sustainable
show examples
 amount of tax on the birth of child
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 should start imparting knowledge about
over population
Correct your spelling
overpopulation
show examples
 of
children
Use synonyms
. Apart from
this
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 use advertisement sources to spread
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about
increasing
Correct article usage
the increasing
show examples
number
Use synonyms
os
Correct your spelling
of
show examples
 population is between
children
Use synonyms
.
In addition
Linking Words
, if
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 very taxes
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the birth of
children
Use synonyms
, people might feel that they are obliged by
administrations
Correct article usage
the administrations
show examples
. On the other side of the coin, In some countries
such
Linking Words
 as India,
children
Use synonyms
 considered as a gift of the god and it
government
Use synonyms
 ties to impose laws on
such
Linking Words
 issue people might start
agetation
Correct your spelling
agitation
 against
such
Linking Words
stirct
Correct your spelling
strict
 laws. For
istance
Correct your spelling
instance
,
Indian
Add an article
the Indian
show examples
government
Use synonyms
 implemented strict
law
Use synonyms
 on
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
 2 or more
children
Use synonyms
 in a family, the
law
Use synonyms
fuces
Correct your spelling
faces
forces
 a lot of negative comments by inhabitations of
nation
Add an article
the nation
a nation
show examples
,
However
Linking Words
, to some
extent
Add a comma
,extent
show examples
this
Linking Words
 sort of
law
Use synonyms
 is needed for
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 to run the system smoothly because more and more
Use synonyms
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
are create
Change the verb form
are created
are creating
show examples
headache
Add an article
a headache
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
, it is true to some extent increasing
number
Use synonyms
 of
children
Use synonyms
 can make negative consequences yet, laws on
this
Linking Words
 can not be
acceptable
Replace the word
accepted
show examples
 as it takes away
freedom
Add an article
the freedom
show examples
 of people.
Submitted by Shaunak Desai on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population control
  • Reproductive rights
  • Family planning
  • One-child policy
  • Demographic issues
  • Sustainability
  • Coercive measures
  • Birth rate
  • Fertility rate
  • Economic burden
  • Social engineering
  • Carrying capacity
  • Eugenics
  • Voluntary compliance
  • Contraception availability
  • Tax incentives
  • Gender disparity
  • Population pyramid
  • Pro-natalist policies
  • Aging society
  • Socioeconomic factors
What to do next:
Look at other essays: