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Writing Samples
Band 5

It is suggested that everyone wants to have a car, a television and a fridge. Do disadvantages of this development for society outweigh advantages?

#car #television #fridge #development #society
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Possessing own cars, televisions, and fridges by every household
is
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are
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 becoming particularly popular in these days;
however
Linking Words
, there are some people who are sceptical about the development whether it is positive or negative. Personally, I consider even though it seems to provide comfort in
a
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apply
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personal
life
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, the repercussions of these can cause to environment and individual are immense. Admittedly, when having a personal vehicle, entertainment facility and cold food storage, the provisions tend to uplift the quality of
life
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 significantly.
This
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 can allow; more free time, less hard work and save money as well,
for example
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, and their lives could more flexible and enjoyable. Some may
also
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 argue, if these pieces of equipment were not found, they would live in an utter mess, but the environmental and personal damages caused by these products are severe and even
threat
Correct article usage
a threat
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 to the earth as a whole.
On the other hand
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, all the above-mentioned luxuries can be viewed in the opposite direction.
Firstly
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, as every family owns personal cars, it has resulted in contamination of air,
consequently
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, global warming
is erupted
Change to the active voice
erupts
has erupted
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.
Similarly
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, refrigerators
also
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 emit poisonous gas to
atmosphere
Add an article
the atmosphere
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, which
deplete
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depletes
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Ozone
Correct article usage
the Ozone
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 layer unprecedentedly.
Finally
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, when a person glued
on
Change preposition
to
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a
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apply
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television, he hardly does what he supposes to do in his day-to-day
life
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.
Thus
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, whatever benefits
of
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apply
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modern gadgets
brings
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bring
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 usually have side effects, which tend to destroy either human’s
life
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 or
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
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,
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
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 both. In conclusion, whether having modern facilities
such
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 as cars, refrigerators, and televisions has merits or demerits is argued. In my opinion, despite the comforts of these, ill-effects are certainly highlighted.
Submitted by Sal on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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