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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Today there are many cases of juvenile crime. This is happening because both parents now work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

#cases #crime #parents #work
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Currently, youth felony is rising in our society. Some individuals claim that the main reason for
this
 is because their
parents
 are not around and spend most of their time working. I deeply disagree with that statement, as I believe there are other reasons for that and jobless adults are terrible role models.
First
 of all, there are several different factors to an adolescent become a criminal.
For example
, the majority of crimes done by
this
 group is often related to a single mom family where the monthly income is not enough for
both
 to have a reasonable life.
In other words
, teenagers do not have the proper knowledge and age to apply for meaningful jobs and end up following the easiest and harmful path of crime.
Therefore
, I disagree that youngsters are breaking the law because
both
parents
 have an occupation.
Likewise
, turning into an outlaw is often linked with the way
parents
 raise their offspring. As an illustration, at
such
 early
age
Add a comma
,age
show examples
 humans tend to mimic their tutors in order to learn how to behave in society.
For instance
, having their role models working will teach them
that is
 part of general life, and only hard work brings fulfilment.
Thus
, I believe that juveniles look up to their
parents
 and
both
 having an occupation is not a reason to become a felon. In conclusion, I strongly disagree that youngsters are becoming criminals because they are not all the time with their family. I believe that there are others circumstances for
this
 behaviour,
such
 as, money shortage which generally does not happen when
both
parents
 work.
Submitted by dieego_gutierrez on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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