IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people think that books are losing their importance as a source of information and entertainment. To what extent do you agree?

#people #books #importance #source #information #entertainment
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 believe that
books
Use synonyms
 are becoming less fundamental as a source of
knowing
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
 and leisure. I totally agree with
this
Linking Words
 option because the
internet
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represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 a faster and cheaper solution to satisfy peoples' needs and wants.
First
Linking Words
 of all, I strongly think that
Use synonyms
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 allowed
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 resolve problems better than
books
Use synonyms
. In fact, searching on the web solutions let
people
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to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
save many times and be able to understand quickly their mistakes while buying manuals is a
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 process and not all the time
permit
Change the form of the verb
permitted
show examples
 to resolve doubts.
In addition
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,
books
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 are expensive,
in
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particular
Add the comma(s)
,particular
show examples
 university ones can cost even 100 euros each, and not all the students can afford
this
Linking Words
 shopping. To
istance
Correct your spelling
instance
distance
, many local bookshops are closing due to the spread of
internet
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 between the society because many
people
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prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 save money and find the same information on the
internet
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, thanks to the development of entertainment website
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy their time in various different ways and not only reading
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a book
books
show examples
books
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. New items like film streamings,
poadcast
Correct your spelling
podcast
podcasts
 and audiobooks allow
people
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 to do different experiences in their free times with the advantage of
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 tools always ready to use.
For example
Linking Words
, nowadays thanks to smartphone and tablet
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 possible to see
film
Add an article
the film
a film
show examples
 and to listen
poadcast
Correct your spelling
podcast
podcasts
 everywhere with only a subscription
that is
Linking Words
 very cheap and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
convenience
. To conclude, I think that the
internet
Use synonyms
 in the
next
Linking Words
 years is going to replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
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 because it absolves the same functions but in a better and less expensive manner.
Submitted by andreacorbelli30 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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