IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that books are losing their importance as a source of information and entertainment. To what extent do you agree?

#people #books #importance #source #information #entertainment
Many
people
 believe that
books
 are becoming less fundamental as a source of
knowing
Replace the word
knowledge
show examples
 and leisure. I totally agree with
this
 option because the
internet
represent
Change the verb form
represents
show examples
 a faster and cheaper solution to satisfy peoples' needs and wants.
First
 of all, I strongly think that
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
 allowed
to
Correct pronoun usage
us to
show examples
 resolve problems better than
books
. In fact, searching on the web solutions let
people
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
save many times and be able to understand quickly their mistakes while buying manuals is a
longer
Replace the word
long
show examples
 process and not all the time
permit
Change the form of the verb
permitted
show examples
 to resolve doubts.
In addition
,
books
 are expensive,
in
particular
Add the comma(s)
,particular
show examples
 university ones can cost even 100 euros each, and not all the students can afford
this
 shopping. To
istance
Correct your spelling
instance
distance
, many local bookshops are closing due to the spread of
internet
 between the society because many
people
prefer
Add the particle
toprefer
show examples
 save money and find the same information on the
internet
.
Secondly
, thanks to the development of entertainment website
people
 can enjoy their time in various different ways and not only reading
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
a book
books
show examples
books
. New items like film streamings,
poadcast
Correct your spelling
podcast
podcasts
 and audiobooks allow
people
 to do different experiences in their free times with the advantage of
have
Change the verb form
having
show examples
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 tools always ready to use.
For example
, nowadays thanks to smartphone and tablet
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 possible to see
film
Add an article
the film
a film
show examples
 and to listen
poadcast
Correct your spelling
podcast
podcasts
 everywhere with only a subscription
that is
 very cheap and
convinient
Correct your spelling
convenient
convenience
. To conclude, I think that the
internet
 in the
next
 years is going to replace
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books
 because it absolves the same functions but in a better and less expensive manner.
Submitted by andreacorbelli30 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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