IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The charts below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevat

The charts below give information on the ages of the population of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevat
The four pie charts compare how old the population is in Italy and
Yemen
Use synonyms
 in 2000 and gives a prediction of how those could change in 2050.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is possible to see that
Yemen
Use synonyms
 is a country with very low percentages of the old population,
while
Linking Words
 in Italy there is a big amount of old people.
According to
Linking Words
 the data provided in
Use synonyms
Yemen
Add a comma
,Yemen
show examples
 the population is divided almost equally between the two
Use synonyms
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 ages: from 0 to 14
years
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 50% and from 15 to 49
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 46%. People over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old are just the 3%.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Italy
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was characterized by a high number of people between 15 to 59
years
Use synonyms
 (61%), followed by +60 with 24%, seven-time more than
Yemen
Use synonyms
. Unlike
Yemen
Use synonyms
, the
group
Use synonyms
 from 0 to 14 are much smaller, just 14%. In both countries, predictions for 2050 show an increase in the
group
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old. But, if in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 it will rise by just 2%, in Italy the percentage will double the one in 2000.
Group
Use synonyms
 ages between 15 to 59 will grow in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 by around 10%,
on the
Linking Words
contrary
Add a comma
,contrary
show examples
 it will fall in Italy from 61% to 46%.
Finally
Linking Words
, the younger
group
Use synonyms
 between 0-14 will decline in the two countries. In ,
Yemen
Use synonyms
 there will be an abrupt decrease of around 13%,
whereas
Linking Words
 in Italy it will be
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
around 3%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, group, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: