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Writing Samples
Band 6

Children today find it’s difficult to concentrate or pay attention in schools. Why do you think causes this problem? What do we need to do to solve this problem?

#children #it’s #attention #schools
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It is not uncommon to hear the complaint that children nowadays are easily distracted from what they are supposed to do in class. The factors responsible for
this
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 problem and feasible solutions
accordingly
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 will be analyzed in
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 essay. Among all the possible reasons，the excessive application of electronic products in school should bear the blame. Children born and raised in
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 digital age have been accustomed to keep in touch with the outside world through their smartphones or iPad.
As a result
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，various social media and mobile game-APPs bring the world closer to them but dampen their enthusiasm for absorbing knowledge and skills in a traditional teaching environment at school. To expand their attention span in class and solve
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 problem，there are some measures that need to be taken into consideration. It is advisable for teachers，who usually function as monitors and managers of the class，to set rules about phone use.
For example
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，anyone caught using electronic products for non-academic purposes more than three times will be given an “F”in the final exam.
This
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 can bring an immediate and tangible outcome within a short time. ,
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Furthermore
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, Furthermore
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，distracting
students
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 from screens back to the whiteboard is
also
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 a way worth trying. Some activities designed for raising the energy level of
students
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 so as to get them better involved in the class can be applied wisely，like role-play，mingling， discussion etc. These kinds of activities convert the traditionally teacher-centred pattern into the student-centred one and
consequently
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 win the student’s interest and attention back. In conclusion，the abuse of electronic products in the classroom is the root cause of
students
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' attention issues and the responsibility of sparing
students
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 from
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 problem should be taken
seriously
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serious
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 consideration.
Submitted by Esther on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Attention span: The amount of time someone is able to concentrate on a task without becoming distracted.
  • Distractions: Things that prevent someone from giving full attention to something else.
  • Digital technology: Electronic devices and applications that facilitate communication and entertainment, e.g., smartphones, tablets, social media.
  • Engagement: The level of interest or involvement a student exhibits towards their learning and school activities.
  • Learning environment: The physical or psychological conditions in which learning takes place, which can affect students' ability to concentrate.
  • Stress: A state of mental or emotional strain resulting from challenging or demanding circumstances.
  • Academic pressure: The stress or anxiety related to schoolwork, grades, and performance.
  • Extracurricular activities: Non-academic activities that are part of school life, such as sports, clubs, or music, which can also affect students' stress levels.
  • Physical activity: Exercise and movement, important for maintaining health and improving concentration.
  • Time management: The ability to use one's time effectively or productively, especially for schoolwork.
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