IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that there should be fixed punishments for each type of crime. Others argue that the circumstances and motivation of each crime should always be considered when deciding on the punishment. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #punishments #type #crime #circumstances #motivation #punishment
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There are some
crimes
Use synonyms
 that take a long
time
Use synonyms
 to be judged and it does not seem fair to the victims. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, there is a debate whether the same kind of
crimes
Use synonyms
 should have similar
jail
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
, whereas others claim that a fair trial is a human right. I strongly agree that everyone must have a trial,
otherwise
Linking Words
, innocent people might stain their lives forever. On the one hand, fixed punishments would be a relief for court and jury hours.
For example
Linking Words
, there are several
crimes
Use synonyms
 waiting for judgment,
however
Linking Words
, the
time
Use synonyms
 consumed for each one to be analysed is too much and in some
cases
Add a comma
,cases
show examples
 criminals stay out of
jail
Use synonyms
 during
this
Linking Words
 period.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 measure would alleviate law enforcement work and arrest outlaws easily.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not taking into account the circumstances involved can make more harm to society.
For instance
Linking Words
, that person who steals bread to eat will have the same sentence if had stole a bank.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, murdering in self-defence inside your house a thief will give you the same
jail
Use synonyms
time
Use synonyms
 as a serial killer.
Thus
Linking Words
, not analysing properly the circumstances can be unfair. As far as I am concerned, I believe that the same punishment for the same
crimes
Use synonyms
 is a terrible idea.
This
Linking Words
 would raise the number of people in
jail
Use synonyms
.
Besides
Linking Words
, someone who committed a small felony would be imprisoned with real perpetrators. In order to avoid ruining the lives of several individuals, every felon must be deeply analysed. In conclusion, I agree that having the same punishment for similar
crimes
Use synonyms
 would accelerate and make law enforcement jobs easier.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it would be dreadful for citizens who will not have a chance to have a fair trial.
Submitted by dieego_gutierrez on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: