Some people think that dangerous sport should be banned while others believe that people should be free to choose.Discuss both views and give your opinion

Sports
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play a vital role in everyone's
life
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, which improves physical and mental health tremendously. Despite the belief that everyone has the freedom to choose their sport, it is
also
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necessary to consider the
risk
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risks
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involved in them.
This
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essay will discuss why it is required to put an end to some of the games which are hazardous. Some of the
life
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-threatening
sports
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should be considered for a complete ban. By doing so, we can avoid loss of
lives
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and prevent more unfortunate events from happening, in the playground.
For instance
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, Freediving,
Big
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and Big
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wave surfing
is
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are
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considered to be the most dangerous and are a major threat to human
life
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itself. For illustration, if you consider games like horse racing, Hen
fight
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fighting
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, bullfighting,
Bull
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and Bull
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riding are
also
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considered more dangerous because
it
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they
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not only
puts
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put
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the
lives
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of the human beings involved in the competition in danger but
also
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as
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apply
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that
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those
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of the animals involved in the activity. It is not fair, to keep the
lives
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of
such
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species in danger, because if we keep engaging animals in
sports
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and continue, eventually it will become extinct.
Therefore
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, it is required to put an end card to some of these risk-involved
sports
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. Every person has their own right to choose the sport of their choice. Some people will have the mentality of exploring things and experiencing all
sort
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sorts
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of thrill in
life
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.
For instance
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, people will be thrilled to enjoy
the
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apply
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free fall, high mountain climbing etc which is more exciting and keeps your mind and body intact and enables them to work faster.
However
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, it is
also
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necessary to keep safety in mind before engaging in all sorts of fun, which keeps our
lives
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uncertain. In conclusion, Everyone has the right to choose their sport ,
however
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, there are quite a few athletics which are fatal and
needs
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need
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to be prohibited, so that we can avoid too many accidents in
this
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field. In my opinion, Safety comes
first,
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sports
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should be for physical fitness and a happy mind, so it is our responsibility to take ownership of our
lives
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and enjoy
life
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without keeping ourselves in unsafe
situation
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situations
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.

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task response
Your essay addresses the topic by discussing both views on dangerous sports but lacks a clear position in the opinion statement. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, some sentences are repetitive and do not contribute to the overall coherence of the essay. Try to use transition words and phrases to connect ideas more effectively.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
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