IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Do you think today we have lot of choices rather than past?

#choices
Due to globalisation ,
whole
Change the article
the whole
show examples
 world tend to be a small village, now
people
 have numerous choices on clothing ,fashion and on education .Technology has flourished
Change preposition
in
show examples
each
sectors
Change to a singular noun
sector
show examples
 and makes
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life more convenient.I concur with the former point of view.
Firstly
, today we have plethora
choices
Change preposition
of choices
show examples
 on attires as compared to ancient time .Today numerous national and international brand open their outlets in each
cities
Change to a singular noun
city
show examples
,which could make comfortable ,especially for youngsters to buy branded apparels while in past due to limited
shopes
Correct your spelling
shoppes
shops
 and shopping malls .
Thus
 ,
people
 have
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 choices on clothing.
Secondly
 ,in
education
Add an article
the education
show examples
 sector,in
past
Correct article usage
the past
show examples
 time
people
 mostly choose arts subjects which didn’t have any scope and recognition ,while ,nowadays many online short courses gain popularity
such
 as fashion designing ,mass communication and language coding courses .
For example
 ,a survey conducted by National Education board in Uk which
state
Change the verb form
states
show examples
 that most of the university student start opting online courses which would provide lucrative wages. To conclude,technology has been changed
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life drastically ,it makes
people
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 more comfortable and supportive.
Submitted by Ripan on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: