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Band 3.5

having children at an older age has become an increasing trend in some nations

#children #age #trend #nations
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Nowadays,having
children
 at an older age has become an increasing trend in some nations .I believe there are a couple of reasons for
this
.
First
 of all,the economy in these countries has developed greatly which means more people can afford
further
 education ,
such
 as universities.Women are educated so they don’t marry young.And the people focus on their work
instead
 of getting babies.
In addition
,
children
 cost a lot of money now.You need to pay for housing, food, clothes, toys and education.
Therefore
 people choose to save enough capital before having
children
, and that takes some time. The trend has caused some changes in both society and family life.For families,the young couples can prepare for the child better by acquiring knowledge about raising
children
 and by earning sufficient fund.
However
, with a low birth rate,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is at risk of underpopulation,resulting in
insufficient
Change the article
an insufficient
the insufficient
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 number of workers and soldiers.
Furthermore
,some facilities,
such
 as schools ,may close down since they are not used by enough
children
. All in all,
although
 postponing having
children
 might seem to be a good choice
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the newlyweds and
children
, the negative impacts on society should not be ignored.
Submitted by linqunxiong on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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