IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?

#‘everybody #amount #income #support #charity
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 think that every member of society should donate. In my view, I disagree with those
people
Use synonyms
 and I will explain why. The main obstacle appears to be the number of recipients of
charity
Use synonyms
 higher than
people
Use synonyms
 who raise funds. Especially in low or middle-income countries
such
Linking Words
 as Mongolia where
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
 tends to rely on welfare from
government
Correct article usage
the government
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 or other institution. Those who
received
Wrong verb form
receive
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charity
Use synonyms
 don’t like to do a job and it can eventually stifle economic growth.
This
Linking Words
seem
Change the verb form
seems
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 to demonstrate that constant
charity
Use synonyms
 can
be
Verb problem
have
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 a bad effect on both sides. A
further
Linking Words
 issue is that most
people
Use synonyms
 don’t have enough income for the regular
charity
Use synonyms
. I understand it is defends on economic status but those who reached financial freedom may give a fixed amount of money permanently.
Final
Correct article usage
The final
show examples
 point is that donation should be
voluntarily
Change the word
voluntary
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 not forced by someone. Every
people
Use synonyms
 have a right to spend their own money. If we
obliged
Wrong verb form
oblige
show examples
 someone it is not a fund, it is a robbery. I agree
with
Change preposition
apply
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that
people
Use synonyms
 think differently, saying that donations help insufficient ones and
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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made
Wrong verb form
make
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society better.
This
Linking Words
 is true but continual
charity
Use synonyms
 is a potentially unwise viewpoint, especially in
this
Linking Words
economic
Change the adjective
economically
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 unstable situation.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that financial problems and receivers are the main causes of a fixed donation
why
Correct word choice
which
show examples
would not work in real life.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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