‘Everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity.’ How far do you share this viewpoint?
Some
people
think that every member of society should donate. In my view, I disagree with those people
and I will explain why. The main obstacle appears to be the number of recipients of charity
higher than people
who raise funds. Especially in low or middle-income countries such
as Mongolia where the
poor Correct article usage
apply
people
tends to rely on welfare from government
or other institution. Those who Correct article usage
the government
received
Wrong verb form
receive
charity
don’t like to do a job and it can eventually stifle economic growth. This
seem
to demonstrate that constant Change the verb form
seems
charity
can be
a bad effect on both sides. A Verb problem
have
further
issue is that most people
don’t have enough income for the regular charity
. I understand it is defends on economic status but those who reached financial freedom may give a fixed amount of money permanently. Final
point is that donation should be Correct article usage
The final
voluntarily
not forced by someone. Every Change the word
voluntary
people
have a right to spend their own money. If we obliged
someone it is not a fund, it is a robbery. I agree Wrong verb form
oblige
with
that Change preposition
apply
people
think differently, saying that donations help insufficient ones and it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
made
society better. Wrong verb form
make
This
is true but continual charity
is a potentially unwise viewpoint, especially in this
economic
unstable situation. Change the adjective
economically
To conclude
, I believe that financial problems and receivers are the main causes of a fixed donation why
would not work in real life.Correct word choice
which
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite