Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

#parents #amount #violence #children #computer #games #tv #programs #leisure #activities

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Nowadays video games,

tv series

Add a hyphen

tv-series

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and many others entertainment activities are becoming more violent according to many angry parents.

This

Linking Words

essay will explain that the main problem related to these practices is the difficulty for the young people to understand

differences

Correct article usage

the differences

show examples

between what is real and what is just

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invention and

moreover

Linking Words

that children do not have to copy situations that they see

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show examples

tv, and how an active control by their family may be the right

solution

Use synonyms

First

Linking Words

of all, the most relevant issue is let understand to them that these

actvities

Correct your spelling

activities

are fake and they

dont

Correct your spelling

don't

have to emulate behaves of their

favorites

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favourites

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actors. Nowadays, is common to see many children that spend their free

times

Fix the agreement mistake

time

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watching series via streaming or playing with the console or computers. Because of

this

Linking Words

situation

Add a comma

,situation

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these young people have started to copy main famous films scenes in the real life with serious risks for their safety.

Change preposition

For

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instance, in Denmark 3 students have killed with guns many students from their school because

they

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

were obsessed

Change preposition

with

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a war video game named Call of Duty. The most practical

solution

Use synonyms

this

Linking Words

problem may be the direct action of their parents.

First

Linking Words

of all, they have to ban the cruel and violent

programes

Correct your spelling

programmes

programs

and games

Change preposition

for

show examples

their babies and they must choose educational activities that can allow their sons to develop new

Correct your spelling

competencies

show examples

competences

Correct your spelling

competencies

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and enhance their knowledge. Thank

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

the spreading of many streaming services is easy to find programmes and games that are a good

solution

Use synonyms

for young people.

For example

Linking Words

, on Netflix and Spotify there

are

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the

possibilty

Correct your spelling

possibility

to discover many contents like scientific series or historical

poadcast

Correct your spelling

podcast

podcasts

that might be the right

compromised

Change the form of the verb

compromise

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between fun and educational

pourpose

Correct your spelling

purpose

purposes

Linking Words

However

Add a comma

,However

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the birth of new forms of

enterteinment

Correct your spelling

entertainment

might be harmful especially for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children the intervention by adults could be the perfect

solution

Use synonyms

to reduce problems related to these leisure

actvities

Correct your spelling

activities

Submitted by andreacorbelli30 on Tue Jun 29 2021

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

320 words

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Many parents are unhappy because of the increasing amount of violence in their children by computer games, TV programs, and other leisure activities. How harmful are these for children? Discuss possible solutions.

Include an introduction and conclusion

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Some people think health care should be free for everyone. Other think that people should pay their medical cost themselves. Discuss both sides and give your opnion.

When asked to choose between alife without work and working most of the time, people would always choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?