Some poeple believe that is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, businees and the academic world. Other believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

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The use of electronic
media
has a negative impact on
personal
Add an article
the personal
a personal
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
between
people
. Being focus on electronic
devices
people
lose
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
personal contact between them and step by step they become strangers each for other.
This
is because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic
media
changed a lot the
people
’s minds and nowadays, it seems more natural to spend most of
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
surfing the internet than communicate with relatives, colleagues, and friends. Even in
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
family
Add a comma
,family
show examples
the partners can not speak for hours, being interested
what
Change preposition
in what
show examples
happens
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
network
Correct article usage
the network
show examples
world,
also
to keep children busy, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents
Add an article
the parents
show examples
allow them to play different games on the notebook. Using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
electronic
devices
become a part of daily routine and some
people
do not imagine how to live without
cell
Add an article
a cell
show examples
phone or computer.
This
is mean that a person can not live
long
Change the article
a long
show examples
time
without
media
,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
mobile phone but can live without friends.
This
is show
Change the verb form
shows
show examples
that
media
become part of our life and important like air.
Young
Add an article
The young
show examples
generation
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
more affected by
media
than
older
Add an article
the older
an older
show examples
one. In the
past
Add a comma
,past
show examples
people
had
quite
Add an article
a quite
show examples
different life and one of the used
media
was the calculator
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
big
Correct article usage
a big
show examples
heavy computer with limited software. So, they spent a lot of
time
communicating together, enjoying quality
time
outside and it seems they felt not just physical presents but moral too. In past,
people
used to organise outside games and picnics,
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
in actual
time
. To explain
this
, I would like to mention that
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation practically
spend
Change the verb form
spends
show examples
all their
time
on the
electronics
Replace the word
electronic
show examples
media
, like
Add an article
a notebook
show examples
notebook
Fix the agreement mistake
notebooks
show examples
, mobile phones, gadgets, and so on…So,
this
is worrying a lot, because if in one day all electronic
media
will disappear,
then
the young generation will not be able to manage
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
life
other
Change preposition
in other
show examples
ways.
Likewise
, the absence of electronic
devices
will be affected them much. Overview, I
am agree
Change the verb form
agree
show examples
that electronic
media
affect our relationships and it depends on us to limit the dependence on them, trying to spend more
time
together with
people
, not together with
devices
.
Submitted by avoalbu on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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