Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #children’s #leisure #activities #waste #time

this

modern era, entertainment is an essential part of our life especially

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

children and

this

can lead to developing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

cognitive skills.

However

, some believe that a

child free

Add a hyphen

child-free

show examples

time

must be educational-based. I strongly disagree with

this

statement for the following reasons.

To begin

with, children should use to their free

time

with

any

Correct your spelling

many

show examples

recreational activities

instead

of educational because nowadays school

syllablus

Correct your spelling

syllabus

syllables

are

over burden

Correct your spelling

overburden

show examples

and they study a lot of subjects.

For example

, the babies can play

Change preposition

apply

show examples

music and drawing when they have

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spare

time

consequently

, they get feel relax. To be more precise, recreational activities can lead to developing the creative mindset who the babies in order to they will be found any new things in future.

Moreover

, education is the most important factor of everyone life but free

time

is only for relaxation

not

Add the comma(s)

,not

show examples

Change the article

show examples

acedemic

Correct your spelling

academic

time

. Sometimes more

acedemic

Correct your spelling

academic

focus can lead to getting boredom

as a result

, the children cannot get

interst

Correct your spelling

interest

on studies.

For example

, these days many corporate companies ask job requirements not only needs degree certificate but

also

needs any special skills and talent.

Hence

, a child does not focus on studies when he has

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

spare

time

because spare moments is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

play

Correct your spelling

playtime

show examples

time

. To conclude, I strongly disagree with

this

statement because everybody

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

entertainment

time

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

reduce

Change the verb form

reducing

show examples

to their's stress level especially the babies.

Therefore

, they should not do any other academical activity when spare moments and enjoy the recreational activities. I hope

this

trend is conducive

for

Change preposition

show examples

building a cognitive society.

Submitted by reanudeepan on Wed Jun 30 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Tourism is one of the fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some companies have uniforms for their staff which must be worn at all times. What are the advantages for a company having a uniform? Are there any benefits of having a uniform for the staff?

Details of politicians private lives should not be published in newspaper. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that purpose of museums is the educate. discuss both views and give your own opinion.