Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

#success #terms #money #somebody #wealth #measure

It is an undeniable fact that wealth is a necessity to survive in

this

world. Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals tend to evaluate someone's

success

with how much

money

he or she made. In

this

essay, I will explain that despite recognising the fact that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

riches are crucial to have a prosperous

life

, they are not reliable parameters to determine

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

success

, and will

also

explain that having a supportive family and a dream

job

are two of several other factors to

evalaute

Correct your spelling

evaluate

the

success

life

To begin

with,

everyone

Replace the word

every one

show examples

of us has been trying to grow our bank balance in order to be happy. Apparently,

happiness

should be directly proportional to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

materialistic

success

however

this

is not the case; when it comes to multi-millionaires. "

Money

cannot buy

happiness

" so the saying goes. According to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research conducted by the psychology department of the University of Manchester,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of the individuals who avail the services of the psychologists with the

complain

Replace the word

complaint

show examples

of being dejected, depressed and suffering from mental health disorders, are

wealthiest

Correct article usage

the wealthiest

show examples

of all. Adding to

this

point, another relevant example is of

modern day

Add a hyphen

modern-day

show examples

social media stars including Justin Bieber and Dixie

Amilio

Correct your spelling

Emilio

, with billions of dollars in their accounts, yet most of them have been to psychiatric institutes

due

Add the preposition

todue

show examples

the discontentment they face all the time. Irrefutably,

plethora

Add an article

a plethora

the plethora

show examples

money

cannot be considered directly related to the

success

of an individual.

However

, a supportive and sympathetic family have always been a reliable parameter in regards to assessing triumphs in someone's

life

Although

they are not always going to provide you with the abundance of materialistic luxury, they can always offer encouragement, which ultimately results in

happiness

and

success

In addition

this

, having a dream

job

regardless of the amount of

money

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

is one of the most prominent

measure

Change to a plural noun

measures

show examples

to bring

happiness

. According to a survey in the US and Canada, 90%

people

Change preposition

of people

show examples

with the

job

they always dreamt of, consider themselves happy and successful; even if it offers them

minimum

Add an article

a minimum

show examples

national wage. Materialistic

success

without contentment is just a hollow business scheme, which ultimately

cannnot

Correct your spelling

can not

be of long-term use. In conclusion, where

money

has its own value, it cannot always assess

success

in someone's

life

however

, having a family and a satisfactory dream

job

are

Change the verb form

show examples

always going to be two of the most certain parameters to evaluate

success

Submitted by naeemsaddiqa on Wed Jun 30 2021

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

396 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Success is often measured in terms of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, the number of animals and plants is declining. Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved?

2) Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, teamwork is in fashion in the workplace and many people working with a group of people. What are the advantages and disadvantages teamwork brings to people who prefer to do so?

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual's responsibility for it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In many countries today in cities either live alone or in small family units, rather than in large extended family groups. Is this a positive or negative trend?