Success is often measured in term of how much money somebody has earned. Do you think wealth is a good measure of success? How else could we measure whether somebody is successful or not?

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It is an undeniable fact that wealth is a necessity to survive in
this
world. Nowadays, an increasing number of individuals tend to evaluate someone's
success
with how much
money
he or she made. In
this
essay, I will explain that despite recognising the fact that riches are crucial to have a prosperous
life
, they are not reliable parameters to determine
success
, and will
also
explain that having a supportive family and a dream
job
are two of the several other factors to
evalaute
Correct your spelling
evaluate
success
in
life
.
To begin
with,
everyone
Replace the word
every one
show examples
of us has been trying to grow our bank balance in order to be happy. Apparently,
happiness
should be directly proportional to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
materialistic
success
,
however
,
this
is not the case; when it comes to multi-millionaires. "
Money
cannot buy
happiness
" so the saying goes. According to research conducted by the psychology department of the University of Manchester, the majority of the individuals who avail the services of the psychologists with the complaint of being dejected, depressed and suffering from mental health disorders, are the wealthiest of all. Adding to
this
point, another relevant example is of modern-day social media stars including Justin Bieber and Dixie Emilio, with billions of dollars in their accounts, yet most of them have been to psychiatric institutes
due
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todue
show examples
the discontentment they face all the time. Irrefutably, the plethora of
money
cannot be considered directly related to the
success
of an individual.
However
, a supportive and sympathetic family have always been a reliable parameter in regards to assessing triumphs in someone's
life
.
Although
they are not always going to provide you with the abundance of materialistic luxury, they can always offer encouragement, which ultimately results in
happiness
and
success
.
In addition
to
this
, having a dream
job
regardless of the amount of
money
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is one of the most prominent measures to bring
happiness
. According to a survey in the US and Canada, 90% of people with the
job
they always dreamt of, consider themselves happy and successful; even if it offers them a minimum national wage. Materialistic
success
without contentment is just a hollow business scheme, which ultimately
cannnot
Correct your spelling
can not
be of long-term use. In conclusion, where
money
has its own value, it cannot always assess
success
in someone's
life
,
however
, having a family and a satisfactory dream
job
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
always going to be two of the most certain parameters to evaluate
success
.
Submitted by naeemsaddiqa on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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