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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The claim that animals have “rights” has been the subject of much debate since the 1970s. Are zoos helping or hurting our animals? Should zoos be banned? Do you agree or disagree?

#animals #“rights” #debate #zoos
Since the late 20th century, animal rights has become the topic of argument. Artificial settings have been proven to be beneficial to these vertebrates, and as
such
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,such
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 I am of the opinion that it should not be prohibited,
this
 is because zoos help to prevent the extinction of these species and
also
 generate income for the host country.
To begin
, zoos are
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aesthetic
anaesthetic
asesthetic
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an asesthetic
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environment
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environments
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 created for the sole purpose of decreasing the rate by which some species of animals go into exile, secondary to man's activity.
For example
, due to the high level of hunting for elephants in Kenya,
huge
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a huge
the huge
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amount
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amounts
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 of funds are
channeled
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channelled
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 by their government for the construction of artificial
habitat
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habitats
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, in a bid to prevent the extinction of Elephants from Kenya. I am of the
view point
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viewpoint
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 that these man-made habitats should not be banned as they can serve as
source
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a source
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 of revenue to a nation. By creating these settings, people from different walks of life can pay just to visit these animals whose species are been
threathened
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threatened
 to go into exile. By so doing,
this
 indirectly generates funds for the government. In Dubai
for instance
, one of the major
source
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sources
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 of income is
zoo
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a zoo
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 which serves as
tourist
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a tourist
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 attraction, individuals pay handsomely to
come
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tocome
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 watch lions and take pictures with them. In conclusion,
although
 animal rights
has
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have
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 been a subject of discussion for decades, creating a man-made environment for them has been shown to help them from going into exile. I do not agree that it should be banned as
they
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it
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 can serve as a nation's source of wealth.
Submitted by Victoria on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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