It has been suggested that primary school children should be taught how to grow vegetables and keep animals. To what extent the advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
Some people argue that teenagers should learn how to cultivate plants and care for
animals
. Although
some other subjects
are more important for seeking a job, I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks because these children
become more responsible for nature
and these subjects
are fun.
On the one hand, the younger generation needs to learn about technology
and science topics which are basic demands in order to work in prestigious companies. Nowadays, the majority of high-tech companies are related to science, technology
and programming, therefore
they would rather employ someone who is an expert in these kinds of fields. As a result
, subjects
related to technology
can affect their future and they should be the main courses
in primary or elementary school. For instance
, various cutting-edge companies like Apple and Microsoft focus on technology
and they hire people who are professionals in these fields.
On the other hand
, learning how to cultivate and care for animals
brings some benefits. Firstly
, if children
become familiar with animals
, vegetables, and their nature
, they will be more responsible for them. In other words
, learning about these issues culminates in increasing their passion for nature
and gardening. In addition
, some people particularly teenagers have no knowledge about looking animals
after and learning these subjects
can assist them in looking after their pets. Moreover
, learning these subjects
is fun and interesting. That is
to say, attending these courses
is like a leisure activity for children
and it can impact their efficiency in other subjects
. For example
, in the majority of schools in the UK, children
attending some agriculture courses
are compulsory because children
do some physical activities and release their pent-up energy. In my opinion, attending some courses
related to animals
and vegetables is necessary for both increasing children
's efficiency and forming them to be responsible for nature
.
In conclusion, while
some other courses
like science and technology
are more important to gain suitable jobs, children
should attend some classes related to agriculture and looking after animals
to be concerned about nature
and release their pent-up energy to increase their performance, because of that the positive points outweigh its negative points.Submitted by hadadianmohamadhossein on
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coherence cohesion
While your introduction and conclusion are strong, ensure every paragraph follows a logical flow. Use more transitional phrases to knit ideas together within paragraphs.
task achievement
Though your arguments are well-stated, you can increase sophistication by using a wider range of vocabulary and complex sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Both the introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, encapsulating the main idea effectively.
task achievement
You have used relevant and specific examples to support your arguments, making them more convincing.