Environmental problems are becoming a global issue. Environmental problems are counter-challenging the quality of life people enjoy in modern advanced societies. Do you think that environmental problems will produce better results if it is addressed globally or it should be addressed by individual countries?

Since
19th
Correct article usage
the 19th
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century onwards, environmental issues have been growing in a tremendous manner globally.
While
Linking Words
there are some people who think that the problems need to be addressed internationally, others consider
it
Correct word choice
that it
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must be done
by
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apply
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nationally. In my opinion, making an international law to curb the hurdles could be the best solution. First and foremost, when every nation comes under a single law to fight against environmental
damages
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damage
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, it would result
a
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in a
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massive positive impact.
This
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is because impoverished countries hardly introduce necessary changes to
compact
Correct pronoun usage
their compact
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as they do not have sufficient money and technology.
However
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, if they did belong to an international
trite
Use the right word
treaty
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,
Paris
Correct article usage
the Paris
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agreement,
for instance
Linking Words
, they would follow the instructions.
Additionally
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, they are likely to be funded by some NGOs to impose new rules and regulations in their countries to minimise
the
Correct article usage
apply
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environmental
damages
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damage
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. Eventually, these problems could be minimised.
Secondly
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, most of the contamination
not
Verb problem
is not
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only limited to one country, but
spread
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spreads
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world widely
Use the right word
worldwide
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. To illustrate
this
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, even though Germany has started using more green energy, the carbon emissions from China often influence the atmosphere of Germany and
tends
Correct subject-verb agreement
tend
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to have smog during winter.
Therefore
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, it is clearly understood that a
world-wide
Use the right word
worldwide
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approach is
so
Rephrase
apply
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significant to counteract the problems of our nature.
Similarly
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,
this
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type of law instructs every nation to take relevant steps, and those who
failed
Wrong verb form
fail
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to do the same would be punished severely by imposing some prohibitions. In conclusion,
despite
Change preposition
although
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people have different opinions about how to challenge environmental
pollutions
Fix the agreement mistake
pollution
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either
by country
Replace the word
on a country-by-country
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wise or globally, I think that
this
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need
Correct subject-verb agreement
needs
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to be done by the joint effort of the world as a whole.

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task response
Plan your answer with a clear opinion in the intro and a short plan of what you will say.
task response
Stick to one main idea per paragraph and give one clear example for each.
coherence cohesion
Use linking words to move from idea to idea in a smooth line.
coherence cohesion
Keep your sentences short and not too long or full of mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Do not add new ideas in the conclusion; restate your view.
language
Check grammar and spelling to avoid small errors that hide your point.
structure
Clear position is stated in the introduction.
coherence
You use basic signposts like First and Secondly to show order.
content
You touch on a global issue and policy ideas.
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