The only way to improve road safety is to give much stricter punishments on driving offenses. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Accidents are one of the causes of depopulation in developing
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countires
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countries

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. It is thought that giving stringent
punishments
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to offenders would reduce accidents. In my opinion, I completely agree with that thought, because
people
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commit mistakes as they are taking things
as
Change preposition
for

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granted.
Firstly
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, most of the accidents are happening because of negligence while driving.
Particulary
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Particularly

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, in the developing countries,
people
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does
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do

The verb does does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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not obey the traffic rules as there are not
much
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many

It appears that the quantifier much does not fit with the countable noun punishments. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

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strict
punishments
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for disobeying driving rules. Unlike developed countries, where they have technologies in place to identify persons breaking the traffic
laws
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.
For example
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, many advanced economic
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Use synonyms
countires
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countries

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have
AI based
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AI-based

It appears that AI based is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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camera at signals to capture photographs of cars that
violates
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violate

The verb violates does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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red signal and they would be punished at
later
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a later

The noun phrase later point seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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point with the evidence captured.
However
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, to implement these technologies in developing and
under developing
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under-developing

It appears that under developing is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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Use synonyms
Use synonyms
countires
Correct your spelling
countries

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would be a huge problem as it
inccur
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incur

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massive costs.
Secondly
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,
this
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is all about
people
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mindset.
For example
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, many
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Use synonyms
countires
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countries

The word countires is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

have
high
Add an article
a high

The noun phrase high degree seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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degree of
punishments
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for serious crimes and
people
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will not dare to commit those crimes. Whereas, when it comes to driving
offenses
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offences

The spelling of offenses is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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, it is not taken so seriously and
also
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the penalty charges imposed are
also
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very low.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

will not take these
laws
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

very seriously.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, creating awareness by including traffic/driving
laws
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in school subjects and campaign the effects of breaking
laws
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would help but
thats
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that's
that

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for the longer term as it would take time to see the results.
Finally
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, in my opinion, relatively harsh
punishments
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and more fines are required to bring down
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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driving
offenses
Change the spelling
offences

The spelling of offenses is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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so that
people
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take these
laws
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more seriously and adopt
it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Because. Consider removing the comma.

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it does not affect only the individual who
disobey
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disobeys

The plural verb disobey does not appear to agree with the singular subject only the individual. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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but
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

others on
roads
Correct article usage
the roads

It seems that article use may be incorrect here.

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.
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