Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

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In the contemporary world, we have different views about that advertising plays a vital role to convince their customers to purchase their products.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, some people believe that the

Use synonyms

tool does not attract

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

audiences to buy it. It seems to me that advertising always

Change the verb form

show examples

well-know

Correct your spelling

well-known

show examples

tools

Fix the agreement mistake

tool

show examples

in order to stimulate the

customer

Use synonyms

buy

Fix the infinitive

to buy

show examples

the products successfully. There is a reason why people will be convinced after seeing some

Use synonyms

on social media,

brochure

Fix the agreement mistake

brochures

show examples

and so on. The

first

Linking Words

justification, the

product

Use synonyms

is represented about the models , shape of

Use synonyms

product

Add an article

the product

show examples

as well as the quality to audiences who do not know the

elaboratable

Correct your spelling

elaborate

elaborative

product

Use synonyms

previously.

This

Linking Words

is due to the fact they have not ever use it before through the

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, the

Use synonyms

tool extremely

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

due to the fact that it helps to

saving

Change the verb form

save

show examples

an amount of time as well as it is easy for finding the suitable items which they need based on the

Use synonyms

. Take the example of, the

customer

Use synonyms

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a demand of buying

the

Correct article usage

show examples

smartphone.

However

Linking Words

, the market

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

a range of smartphones

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

come from

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

different branches.

Hence

Linking Words

, the business

need

Change the verb form

needs

show examples

to use the

Use synonyms

tools to advertise the function of their smartphone , the

apperiance

Correct your spelling

appearance

experience

, which is better than their competition to arouse

customer

Use synonyms

on website, television, social media and so on.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they do not spend a lot of time to commute some stores to see many smartphones.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, some people believe that advertising no longer

attract

Change the verb form

attracts

show examples

attention to customers. Nowadays, many companies extremely focus on their profit,

instead

Linking Words

of their quality. So they spent a great deal of money

Change preposition

apply

show examples

marketing

Change the form of the verb

market

show examples

their

product

Use synonyms

. After the

customer

Use synonyms

see

Change the verb form

sees

show examples

that , they are willing to buy

this

Linking Words

As a result

Linking Words

, the

product

Use synonyms

Change the verb form

does

show examples

not bring

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

good quality

Add the particle

to follow

show examples

Change the form of the verb

followed

show examples

by the

customer

Use synonyms

’s expectation. From

this

Linking Words

point, the

customer

Use synonyms

’s

satisfication

Correct your spelling

satisfaction

reduce as well as they may not be attracted by some kind of

Use synonyms

. To sum up, I am strongly favour of advertising

that is

Linking Words

able to give the

customer

Use synonyms

attention and it will

also

Linking Words

develop more and more in the future to create some useful

product

Use synonyms

to audiences.

Submitted by caomyphuong3004 on Fri Jul 02 2021

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
27
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

persuade
promote
attract
influence
impact
consumerism
commercialism
market
product
brand
endorsement
manipulative
saturated
overwhelmed
repetitive
distracting
irrelevant
exaggerated
misleading
desensitized

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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some peoplesay that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Some people says that it is a waste of public money to spend on cultural events, others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

In some countries, owning a home rather than renting ones is very important for people? Why might this be the case? Do you think this is a postivie or negative situation?