In some cities public parks and open space are being changes into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#cities #parks #space #changes #gardens #residents #fruit #vegetables

It is believed that natural public amenities are rebuilt into

gardens

due to

the expectation of local inhabitants to grow beneficial vegetation.

This

essay will show the inconvenience of lacking entertainment areas outweighs the benefits of farmland.

To begin

, it must be understood that the majority of

people

often do leisure activities and refill their energy in community parks.

This

is because the proper construction of trees, wooden benches and pebble paths will distress

people

's minds via watching the tranquil sceneries around them.

As a result

people

may not find other places for the purposes of entertainment and become more stressed without any public parks.

For instance

, Central Park, located in New York City is an attractive destination with both tourists and citizens

due to

its peaceful atmosphere and healing environment.

Therefore

, lacking entertainment areas results in the rate of stressful inhabitants. It must

also

be considered that transforming public spaces into

gardens

is a considerable way.

People

can grow all kinds of vegetation and independently harvest it.

This

may be true, but planting fruit or vegetables requires fertilizers which may

be released

Wrong verb form

release

show examples

toxic chemical substances into the environment.

Furthermore

, insects will often come to

gardens

and there is an increase in the number of insects throughout the community. Global governments encourage humans not to reverse public spaces to farmland.

Thus

, avoiding building

gardens

in public is a significant point to be considered.

To conclude

, the lack of spacious spaces brings harmful effects on

people

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and outweighs the significant nutritional vegetables grown in

gardens

Hence

, local citizens should visit public parks frequently in order to create more relaxing time and potential relationships.

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task response

Ensure a balance between discussing both advantages and disadvantages. Although both sides are addressed, the disadvantages are more prominently discussed.

task response

Provide more detailed examples for each main point to strengthen your arguments. Mention specific instances or case studies where public parks have been beneficial or where community gardens have posed issues.

coherence cohesion

Work on smooth transitions between paragraphs. Though the essay follows a logical structure, connecting sentences could make the flow more seamless.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction is clear and outlines the main argument effectively.

logical structure

The essay has a logical structure, and each paragraph is dedicated to a single main point, making it easier for the reader to follow the argument.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and presents a clear stance, reinforcing the essay’s argument.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some cities public parks and open space are being changes into gardens where local residents can grow their own fruit and vegetables. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The world has many towns and cities constructed in previous centuries that were more suitable and livable people in those times than they are now. What problems will this cause? What can be done to solve these problems?

In some cultures, children are often told they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

The internet when used as a source of information has more drawbacks than advantage. To what extent do you agree or disagree?