The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from the school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

#education #school

Many people believe that the

education

we get from family is more important than

Correct pronoun usage

what we

show examples

receive from

school

. But it seems to me that

education

is not only about studying. It includes all kinds of specialization that we cannot get from family.

Firstly

school

is the only place we can learn academically and ethically. There are practice rooms, well-qualified teachers,

classmates

Correct word choice

and classmates

show examples

with the brightest goals, and it is an environment where students can fully pay attention to what they want to learn. We all know that the

covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

pandemic

how

Rephrase

apply

show examples

badly affected child

education

in Mongolia, and there are two full generations with

education

Correct article usage

an education

show examples

lag thanks to quarantine and being

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

home

Change preposition

for

show examples

a year. It proves how crucial

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

the

education

we get from

school

and family cannot give us the

education

that children need.

Secondly

, a

school

can give us moral and ethical

education

, There are all kinds of children in the world,

for example

, from poor and rich families,

oldest

Add an article

the oldest

an oldest

show examples

or youngest or only child in a family, a

school

can make them one. They teach offspring how to behave properly, how to be good to each other,

how

Correct word choice

and how

show examples

to be the right person. How

our

Add a missing verb

do our

show examples

parents spend the money that they have been collecting

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their entire

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

? They spend most of their money just to get us higher

education

. It proves how

parampunt

Correct your spelling

paramount

school

education

can be. Admittedly, I agree with those who argue that

education

from family is more important

Change preposition

show examples

some point. Family

education

lays the foundation of any other learning activities, but it does not give us enough knowledge of bigger

achievement

Fix the agreement mistake

achievements

show examples

. To summarize, it seems that

education

from

school

only

Add an article

the only

show examples

chance to fulfill our goals and it provides us

Change preposition

with more

show examples

qualified and specialized knowledge that family can not offer.

Submitted by alexstudyin on Fri Jul 02 2021

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
19Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

300 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial literacy
budgeting
savings
investing
tax obligations
retirement planning
loans
credit
interest rates
crowded curricula
traditional academic subjects
real-life experiences
parental guidance
practical
intellectually rigorous
school syllabus
gig economy
income-streams
challenging
trained teachers
specialized field

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The education you receive from your family is more important than the education you receive from the school. To what extent do you agree with this statement and why?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Research shows that business meetings, discussions and training are increasingly taking place online nowadays. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

You are getting married. Write a letter to an English speaking friend to invite him/her to wedding. In your letter

People in the limelight have a responsibility to set an example for others by their good behavior. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the increasing number of cars in cities is the biggest source of pollution and waste. Others think that industries are the ones causing pollution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?