Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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According to

Linking Words

a set of individuals, the indispensable aspect of having wealth is that they can lend a hand to the individuals who require help in any situation. I support the given view.The following paragraphs

would

Wrong verb form

will

show examples

include the reasons for my inclination.

To begin

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with, the population who are devoided of wealth, can not even look after themselves and have to do a lot of hard work to even eat once a day.

As a result

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, even if they want to stand by others when others need some kind of financial help , they cannot afford it.These type of situations decrease their self-confidence.

For instance

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, even if they want to help a beggar they cannot do that because of their financial status. Alternatively, people having an enormous amount of money can do a lot of things. Importantly, they can help other individuals in terms of money.

This

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means that if they have a lending heart , they can pay for others in many ways without looking back.

For example

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, wealthy persons can provide shelter to the people in the slum areas by building at least a room for each of them.

As a consequence

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that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

these poor people can shift from huts to houses.In

such

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a way they get a chance

of proving

Change preposition

to prove

show examples

their humanity.

To conclude

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, being rich is truly beneficial for persons with golden hearts who never step back to help someone.

Hence

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,I am more inclined towards the given statement.

Submitted by Sri on Fri Jul 02 2021

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task achievement

Your essay presents a clear stance on the topic and includes relevant examples that support your main points. However, there are a few areas for improvement. Firstly, work on your introduction to make it clearer and more engaging. Mention your viewpoint early and set the context for your essay.

coherence cohesion

Ensure smoother transitions between paragraphs to improve coherence. For instance, linking phrases such as "In addition to this" or "Moreover" can help the flow from one idea to another.

coherence cohesion

Revise sentences for grammatical correctness. For example, instead of "devoided of wealth," use "devoid of wealth," and ensure proper spacing between words like "population who."

task achievement

You have used relevant examples effectively to support your main arguments, which adds strength to your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively wraps up the essay and reiterates your stance clearly and concisely.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

236 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

wealthy
financial resources
philanthropy
charitable organizations
donations
fundraising
support
initiatives
contribute
fulfillment
purpose
selfless
altruistic
prioritize
personal gain

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Hope you are doing well!

Some people think that the most important thing about being rich is it gives a person the opportunity to help other people. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Word Count

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