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Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries, a small number of people earn extremely high salaries. Some people believe that this is good for the country, but others think that governments should not allow salaries above a certain level. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #salaries #country #governments #level
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Many
people
Use synonyms
 are
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
concern
Replace the word
concerned
show examples
 about the increasing
gap
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 between
income
Add an article
the income
show examples
 of
people
Use synonyms
. While some suggest that
this
Linking Words
gap
Use synonyms
 should be controlled by the
governments
Use synonyms
, the others
claims
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claim
show examples
 it is a necessary factor for the
eceonomic
Correct your spelling
economic
deevelopment
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development
 of countries. In my opinion,
government
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the government
show examples
 should set a limit to the increasing difference
of
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in
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 salaries of the
people
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.
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
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this
Linking Words
 should be
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governments
Correct article usage
the governments
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 priority among their many responsibilities. The
people
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 who
defends
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defend
show examples
 the
gap
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 between social levels,
declarated
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declared
 that
this
Linking Words
 difference is a must for
growing
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a growing
show examples
free market
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free-market
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 economy. As witnessed throughout history, any attempt made by public
authorithies
Correct your spelling
authorities
 other than fair taxes
,
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apply
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 ended up with big recessions in the economic power of nations. Another
arguement
Correct your spelling
argument
 made by these
people
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 is the creativity of the
people
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 motivated only by the possibility of being levelled up.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
that
Add a comma
,that
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 the initiatives can not be evolved to
maasive
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massive
 companies in an economy
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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controlled by
third
Linking Words
 parties.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , the everlasting growth of the
gap
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 between social levels sourced by
difference
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the difference
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 between wages, concluded to an untreatable depression upon
society
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 and lacking
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
 understanding between
people
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. While one only think about surviving through the day, the other one spends a village's vital expenditure in one
second
Linking Words
 for a luxurious good. Due to the destructive effect on the feeling of justice, peace and harmony in
society
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 became irreversibly spoiled.
The history
Correct article usage
History
show examples
 is full of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
examples
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the chaos which is created by
this
Linking Words
 social
unequality
Correct your spelling
inequality
,
such
Linking Words
 as French Revolution. To conclude, the provision should be made by the
governments
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 and the balance between the economic growth and peace of
society
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 should be established.
Although
Linking Words
recessed
Correct article usage
a recessed
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 economy has many drawbacks, sustaining
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
peace in
society
Use synonyms
 is the most important duty of
governments
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by yildizsumak on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • incentivize
  • discrepancy
  • inequality
  • social cohesion
  • equitable distribution
  • wealth concentration
  • talent retention
  • global competitiveness
  • social unrest
  • innovate
  • government intervention
  • salary cap
What to do next:
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