Some people think that schools should give prizes for academic successes. Others argue that it is more important for schools to give prizes for other achievements (for sports, music, behaviours). Discuss both side and give your own opinion.

How to grant a reward is a controversial question nowadays. Some

people

Use synonyms

believe that pupils should only be rewarded for academic achievement, whilst

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

Use synonyms

people reckon

Verb problem

believe

show examples

that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

excellent

Replace the word

excellence

show examples

in extracurricular subjects should be given prizes. I will discuss both sides of

view

Correct article usage

the view

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay, and draw a conclusion on why I believe those two statements are equally important. On the one hand,

people

Use synonyms

believed

Wrong verb form

believe

show examples

who have achieved the highest academic scores should be rewarded the prizes because of the following reasons.

Firstly

Linking Words

, academic achievement undoubtedly is vital for individuals to find a decent career in the following year. Receiving an

applausive

Use the right word

applause

show examples

incentive

Check wording

apply

show examples

, pupils will have more motivation to

task

Verb problem

work

show examples

harder,

thus

Linking Words

it will benefit themselves

as well as

Linking Words

the educators.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, becoming excellent in academic areas

such

Linking Words

as math, economics and history is more challenging because it requires

students

Use synonyms

to work hard and hold a spirit of persistence.

Therefore

Linking Words

, as long as a pupil is truly

standout

Correct word choice

outstanding

show examples

academically, he or she deserves respect.

On the other hand

Linking Words

although

Linking Words

the academic subject is crucial for

students

Use synonyms

, other capabilities,

such

Linking Words

as sports and

art

Punctuation problem

art,

show examples

are

also

Linking Words

vital for them to be competitive in the future.

That is

Linking Words

why there are more

people

Use synonyms

who pay more attention to

cultivate

Wrong verb form

cultivating

show examples

those capabilities by granting

students

Use synonyms

. Admittedly, the outstanding

students

Use synonyms

should not be only

goods

Fix the agreement mistake

good

show examples

at their academic areas, but

also

Linking Words

need to

smart

Verb problem

be smart

show examples

, om sports, art, etc.

Punctuation problem

, so

show examples

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

rewarding

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

extracurricular activities can

motives

Replace the word

motivate

show examples

pupils to be more professional in their major area, which in turn will benefit our society. In conclusion, both

course work

Use the right word

coursework

show examples

and non-academic activities should be set up

prizes

Change preposition

with prizes

show examples

in order to encourage

students

Use synonyms

to work hard in the area they

good

Verb problem

are good

show examples

at.

Esther

Jul 3, 2021

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task

Plan your essay with three parts: what you think, why it matters, and give a clear end result.

content

The essay tries to show both sides.

structure

There is a line of view in the end.

language

Some good use of linking words like 'on the one hand' and 'on the other hand'.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

285 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic excellence
scholarships
prestigious institutions
holistic development
self-esteem
well-rounded individuals
diverse talents
teamwork
leadership
resilience
acknowledging achievements
motivation
broader set of skills
emphasizes
securing admissions

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Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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some people think that compettion at work ,at school, in a daily life is a good things others belive that we should try to cooperate more rather then it .