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Band 5

Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #information #research #business #world
Some people argue convincingly that some
information
 in economic, scientific studies and academic areas could be shared openly. Whereas others consider that specific data could not be spread. I am inclined to believe that it is better to keep some useful
information
 and do not allow it to spread widely. For the purpose of
this
 essay, two opposing positions will be scrutinized. There is no doubt that in the modern world new ideas appear (show up?) almost every day.
That is
 why sharing
information
play
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
 a pivotal role in social communication because it helps us to be aware as well as updated
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 inventions around us.
Moreover
, it is crucial to show your results of work to other individuals because they might give you feedbacks which contributing to
improve
Change the verb form
improving
show examples
 your work.
As a result
, the relationship with other people could open your mind
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 a variety of things.
Thus
, I tend to think that
above
Correct article usage
the above
show examples
 reasons are essential in both studies and business. Turning to the other side of the argument, sharing some
information
 could not be profitable/ beneficial.
For instance
, some data regarding business finances should be kept confidential by companies to stay ahead of the competition. Since sharing
this
information
 may suffer major financial loss for the company as well as reduction of its competitive edge.
Hence
, some data including
top
Add a hyphen
top-secret
show examples
secret
Fix the agreement mistake
secrets
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 should be held within the company and distributed only among employees (staff members ?). In conclusion, after analysing the subject in detail, I would like to highlight that it is undoubtedly important for the world to share knowledge regarding science and business.
However
, it is equally crucial to safeguard the
information
 which
is
Correct your spelling
it
show examples
 could be useful and significant to companies.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • information sharing
  • scientific research
  • business
  • academic world
  • advancement of knowledge
  • progress
  • collaboration
  • cross-disciplinary research
  • open access
  • democratization of information
  • transparency
  • credibility
  • intellectual property
  • security concerns
  • commercial interests
What to do next:
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