Your friend has just won a sizeable amount of money in the lottery. She would like your advice as to how to spend it. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, -congratulate him/her on their win -give practical advice on how to spend the money -advise him/her on benefits/drawbacks associated with large wins

#friend #amount #money #lottery #advice #-congratulate #-give #-advise

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Dear Maninder, I hope

this

Linking Words

letter finds you in radiant health and the best of spirits. I am writing

this

Linking Words

letter to congratulate you on winning the lottery prize. I

filled

Add a missing verb

was filled

show examples

with joy

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when I came to know that you won

Punjab

Correct article usage

the Punjab

show examples

State Lottery's first prize. I would like to

advice

Replace the word

advise

show examples

you

that

Change preposition

show examples

how can you use

this

Linking Words

money.

Firstly

Linking Words

, I would like you to invest a substantial amount in a fixed deposit scheme

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

because it is a safe way of investing money.

Furthermore

Linking Words

, you can consider investing in Mutual Funds by consulting with

some

Correct determiner usage

show examples

investment advisor, which could give you a good return in future.

Lastly

Linking Words

, there

Add a missing verb

are a

show examples

number of benefits that come

along with

Linking Words

such

Linking Words

large wins. Primarily, it not only improves your financial well-being but

also

Linking Words

secure

Correct subject-verb agreement

secures

show examples

your future. Most importantly, it makes an individual financially independent and

unables

Correct your spelling

enables

a person to meet

imidiate

Correct your spelling

immediate

financial needs. I again congratulate you on

this

Linking Words

win, and I hope these suggestions are useful to you. Best wishes, Jatinder.

Submitted by mrsdns on Tue Jan 07 2025

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure all sections of the letter are fully developed, especially when discussing potential drawbacks of large wins.

task achievement

Elaborate more on the drawbacks associated with large wins to provide a balanced perspective.

coherence cohesion

Consider improving the connection between paragraphs for even smoother transition.

greeting and closing

The letter greets and closes appropriately, maintaining a warm and friendly tone throughout.

task achievement

Clear advice is given on how to handle the money wisely, demonstrating thoughtfulness and practicality.

single idea per paragraph

Each paragraph centers around a single idea, enhancing clarity and readability.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

168 words

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some people think that the internet has brought people closer togethert while others that people and communities are bbecome more isolated. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people see sport as no more than a leisure activity, others, however, believe that it is important for society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.