Recent advancement in technology have made the TV screen so live that people don't feel the need to go for any live performances. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #technology #tv #screen #people #live #performances

It is true that with the advent of

technology

Add a comma

technology,

show examples

the

presents live

performances

While

I agree that

people

do not feel the necessity to attend live shows, I

also

believe that watching live

performances

are given

Wrong verb form

gives

show examples

a different experience. The main reason why

people

do not need to attend live shows is

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

the high cost and limited accessibility of the actual live shows. If more

people

attend live shows, seating capacity is limited. The second reason is that the price of the ticket is very costly if

people

want to

seat

Verb problem

sit

show examples

near the stage.

Furthermore

, another reason is that

people

work from dawn to dusk. So they have no time to attend live shows.

Last

but not least, in

focus of the cameras on the main character,

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

is better to view actual shows. To quote an example, in India, many

people

watch live cricket on

with

Change preposition

while

show examples

doing household chores that stand as an epitome.

However

, I believe that

why

Rephrase

apply

show examples

attending live

performances

is different.

Firstly

, if one can attend live shows, they will feel different than watching

at home.

Secondly

, some

people

have excitement

to watch

Change preposition

about watching

show examples

their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

celebrities’ live shows or

performances

. They are enjoying every moment.

To conclude

, I would like to reiterate that

although

people

do not need to attend live shows because of technology, attending live

performances

give

Correct subject-verb agreement

gives

show examples

a different experience.

Submitted by tithipatel1731 on Sat Jul 03 2021

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

231 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Recent advancement in technology have made the TV screen so live that people don't feel the need to go for any live performances. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Fully explain your ideas

Some parents buy their kids a large number of toys to play with.What are the advantages and disadvantages for the child of having lot of toys.

Some people think that it’s a good idea to socialize with work colleagues during evenings and weekends. Other people think it’s important to keep working life completely separate from social life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is often said that governments spend too much money on wild life protection, while others say that there are other problems that are more important? do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.