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Recent advancement in technology have made the TV screen so live that people don't feel the need to go for any live performances. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advancement #technology #tv #screen #people #live #performances
It is true that with the advent of
technology
Add a comma
technology,
show examples
 the
TV
 presents live
performances
.
While
 I agree that
people
 do not feel the necessity to attend live shows, I
also
 believe that watching live
performances
are given
Wrong verb form
gives
show examples
 a different experience. The main reason why
people
 do not need to attend live shows is
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the high cost and limited accessibility of the actual live shows. If more
people
 attend live shows, seating capacity is limited. The second reason is that the price of the ticket is very costly if
people
 want to
seat
Verb problem
sit
show examples
 near the stage.
Furthermore
, another reason is that
people
 work from dawn to dusk. So they have no time to attend live shows.
Last
 but not least, in
TV
 focus of the cameras on the main character,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
is better to view actual shows. To quote an example, in India, many
people
 watch live cricket on
TV
with
Change preposition
while
show examples
 doing household chores that stand as an epitome.
However
, I believe that
why
Rephrase
apply
show examples
attending live
performances
 is different.
Firstly
, if one can attend live shows, they will feel different than watching
TV
 at home.
Secondly
, some
people
 have excitement
to watch
Change preposition
about watching
show examples
 their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 celebrities’ live shows or
performances
. They are enjoying every moment.
To conclude
, I would like to reiterate that
although
people
 do not need to attend live shows because of technology, attending live
performances
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 a different experience.
Submitted by tithipatel1731 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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