Some people believe that the best way to produce a happier society is to ensure that there only small differences between the richest and the poorest members. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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I barely agree. In my opinion, increasing the income of poor

people

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could be a method to create a better world, but not the best way because

this

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method could bring both positive and negative effects to society. I am going to write about both the merits and the drawbacks in

this

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essay. Letting poor residents become rich could be beneficial for the country. As poor individuals have a similar salary to rich

people

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, they are able to have a better-quality life.

For example

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people

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having poor financial conditions are able to buy a bigger house to live in, afford their utilities or even have good healthcare.

Besides

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, families having worse economic conditions could support their children to access better education.

However

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, narrowing the gap between the rich and the poor communities could

also

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result in some side effects.

For instance

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, if an authority subsidizes poor

people

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with a good amount of money, it would lead to a big economic issue - inflation. It will influence all

people

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in the whole region, no matter the rich or the poor.

Besides

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, it will damage the economy of other nations as well.

In addition

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, government funding may cause recipients not to like to work again rather than enjoy their

life

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lives

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, as it is human nature. In conclusion, I believe making everyone have similar income only has a limited effect on a happier society. The negative result in the nation would overwhelm the positive influence on the poor public, so the government need to implement other policies to produce a more satisfied community.

Submitted by doud99697 on Fri Jan 06 2023

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task achievement

While the essay has a clear position, it draws heavily on hypothetical scenarios. Including more concrete evidence or examples would enhance persuasiveness and demonstrate a deeper engagement with the issue.

coherence cohesion

The essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame the discussion and present the main opinion.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

income inequality
distribution of wealth
social cohesion
social unrest
crime rates
economic equality
overall well-being
health outcomes
education outcomes
motivation
innovation
equal opportunities
wealth redistribution
economic growth
productivity

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