Some people think that schools should give prizes for academic successes. Others argue that it is more important for schools to give prizes for other achievements (for sports, music, behaviours). Discuss both side and give your own opinion.

Opinions differ regarding whether schools should reward only

students

Use synonyms

who achieve academic

Check wording

success

show examples

achievements

Punctuation problem

achievements,

show examples

while

Linking Words

some is

Verb problem

others

show examples

arguing

Wrong verb form

argue

show examples

that it is more important to reward

students

Use synonyms

who achieve

success

Use synonyms

in music, good behaviour and sports. In

this

Linking Words

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

essay

Punctuation problem

, I

show examples

will discuss both sides and give the reason why I personally feel that

students

Use synonyms

should receive prizes in both categories. In today's

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

society

Punctuation problem

, it

show examples

is important to motivate learners from a young age to study hard so that they can

further

Linking Words

their studies at a good university or college. Which would lead to better job opportunities.

Therefore

Linking Words

, acknowledging young

learners

Check wording

learners'

show examples

academic achievements by rewarding them with prizes for their hard

work

Use synonyms

will motivate their fellow classmates to

also

Linking Words

work

Use synonyms

hard and strive for

success

Use synonyms

. In a recent study from Cambridge

university

Fix capitalization

University

show examples

regarding young learners and what

motivate

Correct subject-verb agreement

motivates

show examples

them to accomplish good grades, it was concluded that good competition among their classmates can be beneficial in achieving academic

success

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

, not all

students

Use synonyms

are academically gifted. Some

students

Use synonyms

have other talents in areas

such

Linking Words

as music, sports, or just being a model student at school

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

they should

also

Linking Words

be noticed for their achievements. I agree with

this

Linking Words

statement

Punctuation problem

apply

show examples

that it is important to

also

Linking Words

recognise their capabilities and

success

Use synonyms

. Acknowledging their skill sets will motivate them to

work

Use synonyms

harder and boost their self-confidence.

For example

Linking Words

, Roger Federer, a famous tennis

player

Punctuation problem

player,

show examples

did very

bad

Replace the word

badly

show examples

academically at school, but he

shined

Verb problem

shone

show examples

on the tennis court

and

Punctuation problem

, and

show examples

now he is a famous tennis player.

Therefore

Linking Words

, it is important to not only focus on

students

Use synonyms

who get good grades. In conclusion,

although

Linking Words

it is important for

students

Use synonyms

work

Use synonyms

hard and aim for good grades at school, it is

also

Linking Words

important to recognise that everyone has different talents. And their talents should not go unseen.

swanepoel6

Jul 3, 2021

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coherence

Use clear topic sentences in each paragraph to show the main idea.

grammar

Keep sentences short and simple; avoid very long or joining words that confuse the reader.

content

Give more precise and real facts or numbers to back up ideas.

coherence

Link ideas with simple words to make easy to follow; show how one point leads to the next.

task response

Say your own view clearly in the intro and again in the conclusion so the reader can see your stance.

content

The essay shows a balance of sides.

structure

There is a clear start, body, and end in the essay.

example

An example from real life is used to back a point.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

academic excellence
scholarships
prestigious institutions
holistic development
self-esteem
well-rounded individuals
diverse talents
teamwork
leadership
resilience
acknowledging achievements
motivation
broader set of skills
emphasizes
securing admissions

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Some people think that schools should give prizes for academic successes. Others argue that it is more important for schools to give prizes for other achievements (for sports, music, behaviours). Discuss both side and give your own opinion.

Learning English at school is often seen as more imporiant than learning local languages. If these are not taught, many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

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