IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that social networking sites like Facebook have had a negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Nowadays social
media
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 become so important for some
people
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 especially
Facebook
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.
Hence
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, there are lots of beliefs that
Facebook
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 had a negative impact
for
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on
show examples
 ushers.
Facebook
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 was built for the purpose to get connected to other
people
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 or
to
Replace the word
too
show examples
 old friends.
However
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, now
Facebook
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 has more functions than that. Some
people
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 try to get
benefit
Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
show examples
 from
Facebook
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 and they like to send scams through social
media
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. I absolutely agree with the statement and I will explain my point of view about
this
Linking Words
 statement. Lots of
fraud
Replace the word
fraudulent
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 are found
in
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on
show examples
 social
media
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 especially
in
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on
show examples
Facebook
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. Their main purpose
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 to send invalid
information
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 or as known as "hoax" to innocent
people
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 so that victims trust
to
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apply
show examples
them and forward
those fraud
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that fraud information
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information
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 to others
people
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.
People
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 should be careful to use social
media
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.
Every
Correct quantifier usage
All
show examples
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
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 that had been shared are not 100% valid
,
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apply
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 so that it is important to know the validation of the
information
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.
People
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 likely to share their personal
information
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 without knowing that it is risky.
For example
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,
people
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 share their pictures on
Facebook
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 and on the picture showing their address, credit card number, etc. Scammers will see it as
opportunity
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an opportunity
the opportunity
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to
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apply
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them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to steal their money through their credit card number.
People
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 should be careful
on
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about
show examples
 how the pictures they wanted to share look like. If it is showing personal
information
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, it is not
supppose
Correct your spelling
supposed
suppose
 to be shared so that it saves them from scammers.
Facebook
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 can be accessed
every
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on every
show examples
devices
Change to a singular noun
device
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.
People
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 tend to use many devices to log in to their
Facebook
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 account. So that if they change their device and they forget to log out, a new hand user of their device still can access their
Facebook
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 account. In some cases, they will send wrong
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 to their
Facebook
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 friends and ask for money. In terms of changing device, do not forget to always log out from
you
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your
show examples
Facebook
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 account. In conclusion, as the internet now is so advanced and
people
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 nowadays are so smart about technology, it is important to protect our personal
information
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 from social
media
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 especially
Facebook
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 to avoid the problems that might happen in the future.
Lastly
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, there are so many advantages and disadvantages of using social
media
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 especially
Facebook
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, so
people
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 should be aware of these in order to avoid the negative impacts of being a user on social
media
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.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • erosion
  • face-to-face
  • interactions
  • privacy concerns
  • data breaches
  • misinformation
  • polarize
  • cyberbullying
  • online harassment
  • procrastination
  • productivity
  • social isolation
  • dissemination
  • breeding ground
  • vast amounts
  • personal information
  • mental health
What to do next:
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