Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Celebrations
seems
Change the verb form
seem
show examples
as
Replace the word
like
show examples
a festival
beacuse
Correct your spelling
because
of the way they are performed. People celebrate their special days
such
as weddings and birthdays which is considered
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a remarkable
day
Fix the agreement mistake
days
show examples
. While others say that it is completely a waste of
money
. I will discuss both opinions in
this
essay and
then
, conclude my side. In
this
hectic life, people only get few chances to
get-together
Correct your spelling
get together
show examples
as everyone is working hard to meet their expenses.
Therefore
, they organize functions on special
occassions
Correct your spelling
occasions
to collect memories, celebrate and
also
, to get a break from busy life.
For example
, some of them worked a lot to do enough savings to make their wedding day memorable.
Moreover
, children living far from their parents like, in foreign countries, get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
quality time to spend with their families and relatives. The quality of time you spend matters most than the quantity.
On the other hand
, there is
also
a belief that celebrations are no more than just
money
wastage as they can
also
use
this
money
in many ways. To illustrate,
instead
of throwing a party, travelling abroad at
same
Add an article
the same
show examples
price will be more beneficial that helps to learn something new about other cultures.
In addition
to that, adding to your knowledge is
also
best
Add an article
the best
show examples
way to invest
money
such
as joining your desirable language learning course. In these ways, people will get to know more about other nation's
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
show examples
,
ethucs
Correct your spelling
ethics
, languages and so on. The latter view outweighs the
first
,
however
, I believe that celebrating your days are much more important than doing something else. You will collect
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
of memories with your loved ones to remember for
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of
the
Change the word
your
show examples
life.
Submitted by kaursimrat455 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural heritage
  • commemorate
  • festivities
  • bonding experience
  • financial strain
  • budget-friendly
  • sustainable celebrations
  • social dynamics
  • peer pressure
  • materialism
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!