Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #amount #money #birthdays #weddings #events

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People celebrate their special days

such

Linking Words

as weddings and birthdays which are considered important.

While

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others say that it is completely a waste of

money

Use synonyms

. I will discuss both opinions in the essay and

then

Linking Words

, conclude my side. In

this

Linking Words

hectic life, people only get

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

chances to gather as everyone is working hard to meet their expenses.

Therefore

Linking Words

, they organize functions to collect memories, celebrate and

also

Linking Words

, get a break from their busy life. In some countries, it is considered a tradition like, in India, weddings are performed in front of the society for three days with extravagant spending.

Moreover

Linking Words

, children living far from their parents like, in foreign countries, get quality time to spend with their families and relatives. The quality of time you spend matters

most

Rephrase

show examples

than the quantity.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there is

also

Linking Words

a belief that celebrations are no more than just

money

Use synonyms

wastage as they can

also

Linking Words

use

this

Linking Words

money

Use synonyms

in many ways. To illustrate,

instead

Linking Words

of throwing a party, travelling abroad at

affordable

Add an article

an affordable

show examples

price will be more beneficial

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

helps to learn something new about other cultures.

In addition

Linking Words

to that, adding to your knowledge is

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

way to invest

money

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as joining your

desirable

Replace the word

desired

show examples

language learning course. In these ways, people will get to know more about other nation's living, ethics, languages and so on. In conclusion, celebrations are important in one's life and every person has their own aspect on

this

Linking Words

topic. So, I believe that celebrating your

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

much more important than doing something else. You will collect memories with your loved ones to remember.

Submitted by kaursimrat455 on Sun Jul 04 2021

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Task Response

Well done in discussing both sides of the topic. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will cover in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure and the points are well-supported with examples. Try to improve the transition between paragraphs for better coherence.

Task Response

Clear presentation of both opinions on celebrating birthdays and weddings

Task Response

Effective use of examples to support your arguments

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

268 words

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Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Studying with a group of students in a classroom is more beneficial than learning online at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

"Tourism is always a force for good which enables people of different countries to understand each other." To what extent do you agree with this idea? You should give reasons for your answer. and include ideas and examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Recent research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison commit crimes after they are released. 1. Why is this the case? What can be done solve this problem?

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays,most of the information is available on the internet, whereas in the past, knowledge was stored in books and on paper. Do you think that advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantage