Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #amount #money #birthdays #weddings #events

People celebrate their special days

such

as weddings and birthdays which are considered important.

While

others say that it is completely a waste of

money

. I will discuss both opinions in the essay and

then

, conclude my side. In

this

hectic life, people only get

few

Correct article usage

a few

show examples

chances to gather as everyone is working hard to meet their expenses.

Therefore

, they organize functions to collect memories, celebrate and

also

, get a break from their busy life. In some countries, it is considered a tradition like, in India, weddings are performed in front of the society for three days with extravagant spending.

Moreover

, children living far from their parents like, in foreign countries, get quality time to spend with their families and relatives. The quality of time you spend matters

most

Rephrase

show examples

than the quantity.

On the other hand

, there is

also

a belief that celebrations are no more than just

money

wastage as they can

also

use

this

money

in many ways. To illustrate,

instead

of throwing a party, travelling abroad at

affordable

Add an article

an affordable

show examples

price will be more beneficial

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

helps to learn something new about other cultures.

In addition

to that, adding to your knowledge is

better

Add an article

a better

the better

show examples

way to invest

money

such

as joining your

desirable

Replace the word

desired

show examples

language learning course. In these ways, people will get to know more about other nation's living, ethics, languages and so on. In conclusion, celebrations are important in one's life and every person has their own aspect on

this

topic. So, I believe that celebrating your

days

Fix the agreement mistake

day

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

much more important than doing something else. You will collect memories with your loved ones to remember.

Submitted by kaursimrat455 on Sun Jul 04 2021

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Task Response

Well done in discussing both sides of the topic. Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines the main points you will cover in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure and the points are well-supported with examples. Try to improve the transition between paragraphs for better coherence.

Task Response

Clear presentation of both opinions on celebrating birthdays and weddings

Task Response

Effective use of examples to support your arguments

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

268 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people spend a large amount of money on celebrating birthdays and weddings. Others think that it is unnecessary to spend so much on these events. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The increasing housing problem in big cities has social consequences. Some people say that only governments can solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You are a student living in university accommodation. The heating has not worked for some time. Write a letter to the management. In your letter Explain why you complain; Describe the problems Tell what you want them to do

The best way to solve the traffic and transportation problem is to encourage people to live in cities rather than suburbs or countryside. What are the effects of rapid population growth in the city? How can the quality of life city dwellers be maintain?

More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

You are planning to go and study English at a school overseas.You would like some information about their courses.Write a letter to the school.In your letter Ask about the school Say what kind of accommodation you want Mention any special requests you have