IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Many people consider that increasing the age at which people can get driving licenses can improve road safety

#people #age #licenses #road #safety
Many
people
 consider that increasing the age at which
people
 can get driving licenses can improve road safety.
This
 might prevent some
accidents
 from happening due to the experience but I strongly believe there is a better way than
this
. The main point of raising the number of ages at which
people
 can drive is that to reduce the number of car
accidents
 due to inexperience.There are a number of reasons why a 16-year old teenager driving a car can lead to an accident.As we know, teenagers around that age like to test things they haven't experience before.Like driving a car or even smoking and drinking.Some of the teenagers are unaware of the dangers which might happen if they drink and drive at the same time and
then
 some
accidents
 happen.
However
,these teenagers are really rare and they are really aware of those kinds of danger.I believe these kinds of opinions occur from one or two
accidents
 of
this
 kind and
people
 started thinking that we should increase the legal age for driving cars.It might reduce the
accidents
 but it is still insignificant.There are more factors that lead to
accidents
 more than just inexperience.Like,the rough roads,traffic,and so on.So I believe we should start with improving the public transports to lead to less traffic. In conclusion,I believe it is the poorly built rough roads and traffic and so on are the main factors leading to the accident.
Submitted by Shwe Yamin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: