IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic. Pollution of rivers, lakes and seas is a major concern for people who seek to protect the environment. What are the possible causes of water pollution, and what effects does this have on animal life and human society? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #pollution #rivers #lakes #seas #concern #people #environment #water #effects #life #society
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There are different types of
pollution
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 created by human beings worldwide each year. Among them,
water
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pollution
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 becomes a major concern that carries negative
effects
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 on the wildlife and human beings themselves.
Pollution
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 of rivers, lakes and seas can be caused by different reasons. Population growth, urbanization, excessive use of pesticide and insecticides, plastics and polythene bags are the major threats to our ecosystem.
Firstly
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, people use excessive plant fertilizers to promote growth contaminating groundwater.
As a result
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, it creates the
water
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 uninhabitable for aquatic organisms.
For example
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, fertilizers and sewage discharge produced by industries increased entering surface
water
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 leading to a highly toxic environment for aquatic plants and mammals in the Gulf of Mexico.
Moreover
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, population growth and urbanization contribute to the overuse of microplastics and polythene bags that cannot be degraded easily in
water
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. As an effect, many aquatic animals
such
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 as sea turtles, dolphins, shellfish and sea lions die from eating these undegradable chemicals. At the same time, our human society
also
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 suffers from the negative
effects
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 of
water
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pollution
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. Contaminated
water
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 brings many health risks to high-risk individuals
such
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 as young children, the elderly and pregnant women.
This
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 unsafe drinking
water
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 leads to low-birth-weighed babies, diarrhoea and poisoning. According to the WHO, more than 70% of diseases are waterborne.
Furthermore
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, many domestic wastes and heavy metals discharged from the factories and industries accumulate in rivers and lakes causing poisoning and toxic
effects
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 to our immune system. A number of case reports for acute poisoning from lead and other chemicals from contaminated
water
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 during these years worldwide. In my opinion, the negative
effects
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 of
water
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pollution
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 on our ecosystem and human beings so that we need to have more education and awareness programmes to control
this
Linking Words
pollution
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.
Submitted by Shwe Yamin on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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