IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Wealthy countries should accept more refugees and provide them with basic assistance such as food and housing. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #refugees #assistance #food
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Prosperous nations should extend their support to the fleeing
people
Use synonyms
 from
war torn
Add a hyphen
war-torn
show examples
 countries or countries with
jeopardize
Change the verb form
jeopardizing
show examples
 political
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
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 by supporting basic humanitarian aid. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who lost their homes in their country does not have
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 secure future as their chances of getting back to their country of origin would almost become negligible. In
past
Add an article
the past
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 decade, there
have
Change the verb form
has
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 been steady growth in
number
Change the article
a number
the number
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 with no recognized identity.
More
Add an article
The more
A more
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 fortunate nation should lend their generosity in welcoming these helpless
people
Use synonyms
 providing them with accommodation and livelihood.
For example
Linking Words
, after
Syrian
Correct article usage
the Syrian
show examples
 civil
war
Add a comma
,war
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 millions of
people
Use synonyms
 displaced. Canada and Turkey offered them Permanent Residency and absorb them
in
Change preposition
into
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 their societies.
Secondly
Linking Words
, as per
UN
Correct article usage
the UN
show examples
 Red Cross society
report
Add a comma
,report
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 many humanitarian relief companies are under relentless pressure to support
growing
Add an article
the growing
a growing
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 number of displaced
people
Use synonyms
 mostly due to war and political turmoil. The United Nations should introduce
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 law that can allow
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
generous countries to grant residency status to these
people
Use synonyms
 and provide them decent lifestyle.
For example
Linking Words
, Jordan, which has given shelter to over two million Syrians and Palestinian
people
Use synonyms
, has created an ecosystem where they are utilizing the
entrepreneur
Replace the word
entrepreneurial
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 skills of these forced migrants to generate
the
Correct article usage
apply
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jobs both for
local
Fix the agreement mistake
locals
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 and refugees alike.
Similarly
Linking Words
, Turkey has given
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
shelter
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their southern border to half a million Syrians. In Conclusion, I believe that every country across the globe should be welcoming to the displaced
people
Use synonyms
 from their continents and ease the border restriction to provide their basic human right of shelter and food. Every human being has a right to live with dignity and peacefully whether
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
one is an unfortunate refugee or a citizen.
Submitted by nsch4u on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Refugees
  • Asylum seekers
  • Humanitarian aid
  • Integration
  • Multiculturalism
  • Economic impact
  • Public services
  • International law
  • Conventions relating to the status of refugees
  • Labor market
  • Cultural enrichment
  • Burden-sharing
  • Resettlement programs
  • Host country
  • Border security
  • Comprehensive policy
What to do next:
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