The government should invest more money in teaching science than in other subjects for a country development and progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is undoubtedly true that scientific research has changed the way of living humans. Some Individuals ponder that the government should only allocate massive funds to burgeon scientific research
as well as
the science domain but I totally disagree with this
notion. I will discuss all the reasons that support my stance in the upcoming paragraphs.
To commence with, no one denies the benefits of advancement this
totally enhances the speed of human life in every aspect. For instance
, the invention of mobile phones and the internet helps people to communicate from one corner to another corner of the world virtually. But the value of other subjects such
as arts and Commerce kind of subjects that can not be ignored because of their values. To elaborate on this
, some of the domains that directly integrated into our culture. Those kinds of subjects help us learn from our surroundings. For example
, how to communicate as well as
how to behave with others. Consequently
, this
type of knowledge connects us to our roots straightaway.
On the other hand
, the masses who make an agreement with this
statement assume that the authorities should only focus on the science domain and research almost all the grants conferred to this
stream due to
the manifold merits of this
sphere, they also
consider that investing money in another kind of development such
as theatre as well as
cultural events totally useless for the future.
In conclusion, I believe that diversification in education is paramount only researchers and inventions are unable to provide the overall
development of humans.Submitted by jagdeepsandhu357 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay demonstrates a reasonable attempt to organize ideas under a central topic with a clear introduction and conclusion. However, paragraphs could benefit from clearer topic sentences and transitions to guide the reader through your argument.
coherence cohesion
While the essay provides a concluding statement, the introduction could be strengthened by directly addressing the prompt and stating your position more clearly. Consider refining the conclusion to reinforce your argument and summarize your main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Main points are supported, but the supports could be more developped and directly related to the question. To improve your argument's impact, include more detailed explanations and specific examples that are directly relevant to the prompt.
Make sure to fully address the prompt. The response seems incomplete as it does not provide a detailed examination of the topic. To enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of ideas, ensure that you delve deeper into the discussion, providing a more nuanced argument.','type':'task_achievement
task achievement
Additionally, work on presenting clear arguments with a comprehensive explanation of your views. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each paragraph consistently supports your main idea by directly tying back to the essay prompt.
task achievement
Incorporate more relevant, specific examples to bolster your arguments. This will help in making your essay more persuasive and show a greater command over the material related to the prompt.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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