IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think it is better to work for different organisations

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
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The issue has been widely discussed for decades. Some may say that staying at the
company
 is a wise choice,
however
, those who believe switching to
differ
Replace the word
different
show examples
 organizations is even better. In
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 paragraphs, I will apply
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both ideas before offering my own viewpoints.
First
, there are many causes of the consequence of keeping to work for the same organization. The most important one among them is promotion and salary. Generally speaking, You would get more opportunities for stepping up, the longer you stay in a
company
 so that your
life
 quality will be protected. No mention that you may earn more pension when you are tired in the future.
For instance
, lots of people always spend their whole
life
 staying in
Japanese
Add an article
a Japanese
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company
 for the same working culture which is illustrated above.
Nevertheless
, some people suppose that staying in the same place for a long time is risky especially for
young
Add an article
the young
a young
show examples
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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.
Freshman
Fix the agreement mistake
Freshmen
show examples
 should take
chance
Correct article usage
the chance
show examples
 to learn more by changing a working place like a sponge. It helps to prepare themselves to confront the difficulties and to experience
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
colorful
Change the spelling
colourful
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life
. Leaving for a better
company
 will give you
simulation
Add an article
a simulation
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 to push you improved. It broadens your view if you get
chance
Correct article usage
a chance
show examples
 to
compete
Add the preposition
forcompete
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 the chance working in different countries. To sum up, staying in the same job would bring you stable growth, whereas I prefer to make
plan
Add an article
a plan
show examples
 to change occupies to contact various of knowledge, interesting staff. I firmly believe that learning is the key way to gain a wonderful
life
.
Submitted by ikulau on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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