some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that it has more positive effects on our lives. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #fashion #lives #effects

this

contemporary world, it is hard to find a person who is untouched by

fashion

because its presence is felt in every corner of

this

world across societies, nations, gender and age groups;

however

, some groups of

people

said that

fashion

gives a harmful impact to human life while others argue that it has a more beneficial effect on an individual. In

this

essay, I will explain both of these aspects and give my opinion

further

in the ensuing paragraphs. On the one hand, nowadays masses are crazy about

fashion

, it does not matter from which age group they come;

hence

, sometimes it gives an adverse effect on them. cosmetic items take as an example, it contains a tremendous amount of chemicals and it

also

gives deleterious effect o skin, if folks use over.

Moreover

, the crowd sometimes buy unwanted things only for

fashion

and it enhances the financial burden on them.

In addition

people

blindly follow their favourite celebrities and it can

also

pressure them to buy exorbitant items.

On the other hand

fashion

is indeed positive for our lives for many reasons.

Firstly

, it is considered as youthful and creative,

therefore

when

people

fashion

, they feel younger, energetic and creative,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

fashion

also

gives a good platform for creative

people

to explore their ideas to enrich the arts of our times. On top of that,

fashion

as an industry

also

gives employment to millions of communities across the globe. To conclude, in my opinion

trend

Correct article usage

the trend

show examples

must be followed wisely. If it is followed blindly, it always affects our health and financial condition.

However

, if it is followed carefully, it becomes a form of art and creativity.

Submitted by kajavadarapiyush786 on Mon Jul 05 2021

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

279 words

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Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

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Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

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Lexical resource: 6.0

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Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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some people say that fashion affects our lives in a negative way. However, others say that it has more positive effects on our lives. discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?