IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2

Some people think that secondary school should add international news as a subject; others think that it is a waste of valuable time. Discuss both views.

#people #school #news #waste #time
The bar graph elucidates the
stress
 level of employees working eight different jobs. The pie chart illustrates diseases which
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 caused by
stress
. At a cursory glance, it is clearly seen that amount of
stress
 is
comparetively
Correct your spelling
comparatively
 lower in salaried professionals than
self employed
Add a hyphen
self-employed
show examples
. The major striking point here is that
businesmen
Correct your spelling
businessmen
 witnessed the top level of
stress
 with 70 vt while
lecturees
Correct your spelling
lectures
lecturers
lecturer
 stood at the bottom with
one
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
third
 of the businessmens’ figure. Movie producers who secured
second
 position in the given
catagories
Correct your spelling
categories
wwith
Correct your spelling
with
which
exactily
Correct your spelling
exactly
 60%, followed by doctors, and writers. Both of them had
stress
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 ranging nearly between 40% to 50% Regarding
stress causing
Add a hyphen
stress-causing
show examples
 illnesses,
lecture
Fix the agreement mistake
lectures
show examples
 are highly affected by
shealth
Correct your spelling
health
 issues with one-fourth of
total
Add an article
the total
show examples
 figure, and with 18% and 15% film producers and doctors remained in the
next
 two positions. Interestingly only 5% of presenters are suffered
by
Change preposition
from
show examples
stress
 disorders. Remaining positions;
loweyers
Correct your spelling
lawyers
 and writers: 8% and chef and
buiness
Correct your spelling
business
 men are nearly 10.
Submitted by Sal on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: