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The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?

#violence #music #lyrics #video #games #films #children #concern #societies #type #imagery #steps #impact #people
Most people nowadays pay more attention to a high level of crime content in social media and computer games
seeing
Wrong verb form
seen
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 by
children
. We will discuss the gravest problems arising and two ways in which the situation could be improved. The most serious issue caused by
impact
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the impact
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 of
violence
 in entertainment is leading
the
Correct article usage
apply
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children
into
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to
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an
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apply
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unstable mental health. The mind of
a
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apply
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young people is easily cultivated by the content
that is
 seen. As the statistics, those who watch
an
Remove the article
apply
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entertainment with
violence
, would
Add a missing verb
be
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more likely to have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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depression and lower self-esteem. Another point to consider is that the level of crime committed by the youngsters would rapidly grow
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
. Even when young people are told not to get involved in trouble, they are good at coping with what they see and hear. To counteract these dangers, perhaps the most immediate solution would be for the government to take
an
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apply
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action on illegal
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
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 and
may
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penalize those who make music and videos with
violence
.
This
 would lessen the anxiety of
insufficient
Correct article usage
the insufficient
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 effect of the media on
children
. Another remedy might be the parent’s attention and family relationship among the members. Some parents should consider spending more time with their
children
, teaching them the difference between right and incorrect actions, so that they may possibly be protected from the
violence
 or
a
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the
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 negative impact of the media. In conclusion, it appears that the main challenges are
a
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apply
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mental health and crime caused by the use of
violence
. The key solution would be the policy taken by the government and the responsibility of the parents.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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