The use of violence in music lyrics, video games and films seen by children is causing concern in many societies. What problems may be caused by this type of violent imagery, and what steps could be taken to lessen the impact on young people?
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Most people nowadays pay more attention to a high level of crime content in social media and computer games more likely to have
seeing
by Wrong verb form
seen
children
. We will discuss the gravest problems arising and two ways in which the situation could be improved. The most serious issue caused by impact
of Add an article
the impact
violence
in entertainment is leading the
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children
into
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to
an
unstable mental health. The mind of Remove the article
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a
young people is easily cultivated by the content Correct article usage
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that is
seen. As the statistics, those who watch an
entertainment with Remove the article
apply
violence
, wouldAdd a missing verb
be
a
depression and lower self-esteem. Another point to consider is that the level of crime committed by the youngsters would rapidly growCorrect article usage
apply
up
. Even when young people are told not to get involved in trouble, they are good at coping with what they see and hear. To counteract these dangers, perhaps the most immediate solution would be for the government to take Change preposition
apply
an
action on illegal Correct article usage
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contents
and Fix the agreement mistake
content
may
penalize those who make music and videos with Verb problem
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violence
. This
would lessen the anxiety of insufficient
effect of the media on Correct article usage
the insufficient
children
. Another remedy might be the parent’s attention and family relationship among the members. Some parents should consider spending more time with their children
, teaching them the difference between right and incorrect actions, so that they may possibly be protected from the violence
or a
negative impact of the media. In conclusion, it appears that the main challenges are Correct article usage
the
a
mental health and crime caused by the use of Correct article usage
apply
violence
. The key solution would be the policy taken by the government and the responsibility of the parents.Submitted by alexstudyin on
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite