some people argued that having money makes people happy. some says that having too much money only bring problems. do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
money
Use synonyms
is an essential part of human life, without cash they could not survive in
this
Linking Words
exorbitant world;
however
Linking Words
few people pretend that property can make people happy while counterpart argues that enormous
fund
Fix the agreement mistake
funds
show examples
solely brought problems. I disagree with the latter statement and ample reasons for that discussed
further
Linking Words
. Out of all the reasons, the foremost one is,
money
Use synonyms
is an inevitable need for
crowd
Add an article
a crowd
the crowd
show examples
because they can live a lavish lifestyle and fulfil their all requirements due to enough wealth.
In addition
Linking Words
, if the masses have adequate currency
then
Linking Words
they can give better education to their children, which can improve their future careers. To illustrate, in India, there is 50% of adolescents often attempt crime because of lack of salary,
therefore
Linking Words
enough payment can give happiness with a good lifestyle and education.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if folks have
money
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
their children did not go throw starvation.
Moreover
Linking Words
, they can
also
Linking Words
cure acute diseases
such
Linking Words
as corona, cancer because the cost of
this
Linking Words
disease treatment is often high,
thus
Linking Words
they can provide medical care in a facilitated way.
For instance
Linking Words
, in my home country India, every year above 1,00,000 society die because they do not have
adequate
Add an article
an adequate
show examples
wage
Fix the agreement mistake
wages
show examples
for treatment.
However
Linking Words
, sometimes if
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
have a lot of
money
Use synonyms
that time
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
brings problems towards their family
such
Linking Words
as children from wealthy families often attempt crime for just enjoyment because they have
also
Linking Words
strong political connections, which can save them from punishment. To conclude, having significant
money
Use synonyms
is always beneficial for people because they can easily acquire better education, lifestyle and hospitality and
this
Linking Words
indirectly give them joy.
Submitted by kajavadarapiyush786 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: