IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Few people devote time to hobbies nowadays. Say why you think this is the case and what effect this has on the individual and society in general.

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Recently, a small portion of
people
Use synonyms
 has been dedicating their
time
Use synonyms
 to leisure activities.
This
Linking Words
 essay discusses some reasons why
this
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 situation has developed and outlines some negative effects towards a person as well as in a community.
To begin
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 with, there are some reasons which may support that hobbies are not that common anymore. One of them is the amount of work the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 are having and
then
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, they are usually requested to work extra hours per week.
As a result
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, they might need to use the relaxation
time
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 to finish their professional activities and they barely have free
time
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 to devote to their hobbies on weekends,
for instance
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. Another important point is that
people
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 usually lack
time
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 management skills.
This
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 ability is quite important if a person seeks a balanced
life
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,
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apply
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 because the majority do not know how to set priorities and
hence
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, they will not have
time
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 to do what appeals to them most. Unfortunately, the consequence of excessive work and poor organisation is almost irreversible, because they are difficult to identify and correct. Hobbies
also
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 contribute to a meaningful
life
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 as it addresses to personal satisfaction directly. Once an individual does not feed
this
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 internally, an unbalanced
life
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 is placed and soon, a highly stressed routine. To illustrate that, more fights are happening in traffic, because more
people
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 are out of control and
then
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, influencing on a social disorder.
Additionally
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, with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
repetitive behaviour amongst the population, they tend to follow and copy the same pattern.
Thus
Linking Words
, local culture is being severely impacted by
workaholic
Fix the agreement mistake
workaholics
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 and disorganised
life
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tendency
Fix the agreement mistake
tendencies
show examples
. In conclusion, almost any person is keeping up with
an
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apply
show examples
extra activity in their daily routine. Leisure activity is not being a priority to the majority of
people
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, because they are working excessively and nurturing a disorganised routine. Several are the consequences to each individual and to the society,
such
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 as unbalanced routine guided by meaningless stressed
life
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 and cultural modification.

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The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Devote time
  • Hobbies
  • Nowadays
  • Busy
  • Fast-paced
  • Lifestyles
  • Work and career
  • Technology
  • Digital entertainment
  • Limited
  • Free time
  • Lack of motivation
  • Mental wellbeing
  • Physical wellbeing
  • Decreased
  • Social interactions
  • Creativity
  • Self-expression
  • Negative effects
  • Society
What to do next:
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